Goodnight Brighteyes
by dooooooouche
Summary: My first fanfic...Spike & Faye go after a seemingly good bounty, trouble ensues(as usual), and you think things are resolved. Uses the ending of the series to begin a new story for Spike and Faye, and has tons of spoilers. And then...more drama. And maybe
1. What Has a Beginning

She tiptoed to the kitchen to get herself a little midnight snack. No point in letting anyone wake up to yell at her for eating any of the limited food supply. Quietly, she rustled through the cabinets to find nothing but Ramen and dust.   
  
She muttered to herself and walked back to her room. No sense in worrying about food now. She plopped herself down on her small bed and shut her door. Then, she picked up the remote to her beta videocassette player and hit play.   
  
She watched the video again, hoping that one of the images would leap out at her, but again, nothing.   
  
"What a waste..." she mumbled and laid down. Soon, she was fast asleep.  
  
---------------  
  
Where am I?  
  
What?! You don't know? This is your–our wedding! How could you forget?!   
  
Oh...I'm sorry. Um...who are you again?  
  
Don't tell me you're having another bout of amnesia! How typical!   
  
::slap::  
  
OW! Why the hell did you slap me?!  
  
Maybe it'll knock some sense into you!  
  
Well, it didn't! And it hurt like hell! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hurt a woman?  
  
My mother never told me anything.  
  
Well, that's too bad.  
  
::punch::  
  
HEY! Why'd you punch me?!  
  
Because you slapped me!   
  
Damnit woman!  
  
---------------  
  
"Agh!" she yelped as she sat up in her bed, sweat rolling down her back. "What the hell was that?" she asked herself and wiped the back of her hand across her forehead. "I need to smoke."  
  
With that, she grabbed her pack of cigarettes and headed to the living room. She sat down on the yellow couch and flipped on the tv.  
  
"Shit..." she muttered, searching for a light. "Forgot a lighter."  
  
"Need a light?"   
  
"Yeah. What are you still up for?" she asked.  
  
"No reason."  
  
"Right." she said as he lit the end of her cigarette for her.  
  
They sat in silence while watching a commercial on the small tv. Then, their link to money, action, and food came onto the screen: Big Shot. It was a weird show; how it would just pop in out of nowhere. Didn't bother them, because they always had some news on a possible bounty, and that's all that really mattered.  
  
"You wanna turn it up?" he asked.  
  
"You wanna shut up?" she snapped bitterly as she reached to turn it up.  
  
"Women..." he muttered.   
  
They listened as the new bounty was announced. It always seemed as if Big Shot only had one at a time...like there was only one bounty for every one in the star system to go after at a time. And again, this didn't phase the two bounty hunters that were glued to the screen.  
  
"That sounds like a decent bounty." she said.  
  
"Three million woolongs? Maybe. I mean, you're still worth that much, right?" he said with a sly grin that she could only make out by the glow of the tv.   
  
"Ha. Ha. Very funny." she said and put out her cigarette in an ash tray on the table in front of her. Now standing she took a step toward her room and stopped, "You wouldn't cash in on my bounty. You need me." she said smoothly.  
  
"We don't need you, Faye. We get along just fine without you." he said flatly.   
  
"No no, I mean you Spike." she said with a glint in her eye, "You need me too much." she said and smiled right into his eyes.  
  
"You wish, shrew." he scoffed and flicked his cigarette butt at her, missing her face by an inch.  
  
She turned back to her original path and went to her room. She closed the door and chuckled to herself. Keep it up Faye. Next time, he'll launch the whole damn couch at you.   
  
She lied down a second time and went back to sleep. She didn't dream this time.  
  
::slurp::  
  
"Mmm...oh that feels nice..." Faye moaned and opened her eyes to see Ein staring right at her, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.  
  
"Thanks pal. That'll cost you." she said to the dog as if he understood her. He whined and scampered off.  
  
"I guess I have that effect on animals." she said and sat up wiping the dog slobber off of her cheek.  
  
"Not only animals, but humans too." Spike said from her doorway. "Jet says breakfast is up."  
  
"Whatever." Faye said and rolled out of bed. She continued to get dressed and headed to the kitchen for food.  
  
"About that bounty I saw last night..." Spike began only to be cut off by Ed doing cartwheels into the kitchen and rolling right into Jet standing at the stove.  
  
"What do you mean, 'You saw?'" Faye shouted to him.  
  
"The bounty we saw..." he corrected himself looking over at Faye with evil eyes. "It's worth three million. I know the area pretty well, and I think it's worth going after." he finished.  
  
"Well, just do your thing. I don't have to tell you twice what to do about these things anymore. You're a big kid now." Jet said with a chuckle.   
  
"Your damn right I am." Spike muttered and slurped down his morning's Ramen. "And I must say, this 'breakfast of champions' is incredibly horrible, Jet."   
  
"Wait til dinner." Jet said with a grin.  
  
"I saw the bounty too! I want in on this." Faye whined while eating her food.  
  
"Go find another one, this one's mine." Spike grumbled, finishing his noodles and headed to Ed for more info.  
  
"Nuh-uh! I saw it too! I'm in on this whether you like it or not!" she said, standing up.  
  
"Whatever," he muttered and sat down next to Ed. "Whatcha' got on this one?"  
  
"Hmm. Let's see!" Ed squealed, "We've got oodles of noodles and poodles, oh my! Ah ha! Prrrrinting!" she babbled.   
  
"Hey Ed, when did you get a printer?" Spike asked looking at the dinky machine.  
  
"I made it out of stuff around here! Like cigarette boxes and chopsticks!" she said.  
  
"Really? Interesting..." he mused and looked back up to see Faye getting ready to leave. "And where are you going missy?"  
  
"With you, to get a part of this bounty." she said with her head held high.  
  
"You better not get in my way." he barked at her and collected the information from Ed's new printer.   
  
Faye walked over and snatched the paper out of his hands and began to read it aloud.  
  
"Hey!" Spike yelled.  
  
"Mine now! Ahem! Let's see here...Our newest bounty head is a lady who goes by the name of Red. What a boring name." Faye said looking disappointed.  
  
"You failed to read the important part, idiot." Spike growled at her.  
  
"And you failed to print it!" she yelled right back at him shoving the paper in his face.  
  
"Errr...Ed? Is there more to this?" Spike turned asking the red-headed girl.  
  
"Coming right up Spike-person!" she chimed in cheerily.  
  
"See. She's still printing it." Spike said and nodded his head while crossing his arms.  
  
"Let me know when you get your act together. You'd think that a printer would be faster nowadays..." Faye said to whoever would listen.  
  
"Ok," Spike cleared his throat. "Our bounty is Red, a 25 year old woman who was last seen on Earth. She is wanted for murder and grand theft. Kinda like you, Faye." Spike smiled as the words came out of his mouth.  
  
"Yeah, one problem, I didn't kill anyone without reason yet."  
  
"So you admit to stealing m money!" he said accusingly.  
  
"Fine. I did. It's not like you're going to get it back from me." she said indifferently.  
  
"We'll see about that..." he said trailing off, "Let's get going if we're going to go after her. I don't want to be stuck with you any longer than I have to." he said pungently.  
  
"You make no sense..." she said to him.  
  
"How so?" he asked with a smirk.  
  
"You say you don't want to be stuck with me longer than you have to, yet you live with me." she said.  
  
"Only because you forced yourself onto the ship." he said reaching for his key and cigarettes and then proceeded to the hangar.  
  
Faye gave up, grabbed her key and cigarettes and headed to her ship. "Let's just get this over with." 


	2. A Matter of Time

Nobody really reads these things, so I'll keep it short and sweet. Here's chapter 2...enjoy! If it seems like this is moving along slow, don't worry, I don't do anything without a reason. Well, I don't do a lot of things without reasons...Anyway, read on.  
  
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Faye hopped up into her ship, as did Spike into his a few feet away. They closed everything up and Spike started up his ship first.  
  
"I thought it was ladies first." Faye said to Spike through her com.   
  
"I don't think that rule applies to you." he said jokingly and pulled out of the hangar.   
  
"Not funny, ass." she said and roared into space behind him.  
  
Spike turned his ship on auto and leaned back into his chair, when Faye's voice surrounded him.  
  
"How far off are we?" she asked.  
  
"You've flown to Earth before, why are you asking?" He said somewhat annoyed that his peace and quiet only lasted a few seconds.  
  
"Just trying to make conversation..." she said.   
  
He didn't respond to her, and turned off the communicator, hoping that she'd just be quiet so he could relax for the rest of the trip to Earth.   
  
"So he's gonna be tough, huh?" Faye said aloud to herself and flipped the com back on, "So, what is the plan once we get there?" she asked.  
  
"We find her and turn her in." Spike said complacently.  
  
"Right. That doesn't really help." she said with an irritated sigh.  
  
"I'll fucking tell you when you get there! Just shut up so I can relax 'til then!" he yelled.  
  
::click::  
  
Faye turned off her com and put her ship into auto, as well. "What an asshole." she muttered, pulling out a cigarette and lit it.  
  
"Ugh! So annoying!" Spike said and reached into his pocket for a cigarette.   
  
"Well, I didn't mean to come off that harsh, but damn, that woman gets on my nerves. I don't really know why I get so annoyed...I guess if I don't know why, I should let it go. Hmm. Nah." he said to himself as he lit the end of his cigarette up.   
  
::beep::  
  
Arriving at destination in T-minus 17 minutes and 18 seconds.  
  
::beep::  
  
"Thanks for the update," Spike said as he patted the controls of the Swordfish II. "At least you don't annoy me as much as her." he said and took a long drag on his cigarette.  
  
Soon after, they landed at their destination: what used to be known as Florida. Now it was practically reduced to a jungle. The Atlantic Ocean rose over the already low-lying state and covered up most of the south part of the state. And what was left became so marshy and wet that it gave birth to a deep jungle of overgrowth. But states didn't really matter, it was just "Florida." Not the state of Florida, but the place known as such.   
  
Earth wasn't the way it used to be as Faye knew it before her accident. Sure, she couldn't remember any of it yet, but she knew she lived on the planet once. That's all; just the simple fact that she had lived there for the majority of her life.   
  
"Are you done yet?" Spike shouted over to her as she climbed down from her ship.   
  
"Sorry if I tried to land in a decent spot." she replied with a thud as she fell from her ship into a soft spot of land.  
  
Spike laughed under his breath and headed toward one of the few remaining buildings in the area. "It's a information center?" he said in amazement.  
  
"I didn't think any of these were still around." Faye said as she caught up to him, brushing dirt off of her thighs.  
  
"I guess there's at least one. Let's check it out. Ladies first." he said and bowed towards the door.  
  
"Oh, I see how it is!" she said and stomped forwards, "Fine! I'll be the brave one."  
  
She creaked the door open, and they entered slowly.   
  
::ribbit::  
  
"Agh! Shoot it!" Faye yelled at the sound coming from behind the counter.  
  
"Just a frog..." Spike said and leaned over, picking up the green being, "See? Harmless."  
  
::psssshhhhhh::  
  
"AGHH! It pissed in my eye! OH, OH IT BURNS!" Spike yelled as he threw the frog against the wall and continued to dance around in pain with his hand against his face.  
  
"Stop jumping around! Lemme take a look!" Faye demanded and grabbed onto his fore arm, "Stay still." she whispered as she moved his hand from his face.  
  
"Ow...How's it look?" he said now staring at her intently with a trace of worry running all over his face.  
  
"We need to find some water, CLEAN water, to rinse it out with," she started to say when she noticed that it was only his left eye that was bothered by the frog spray, "Hmm..." she mused to herself, caught up in inspecting his eye.  
  
"What?!" he asked with extreme worry apparent in his voice.  
  
"It seems like Mr. Froggy has some incredible aim."   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"He only got your left eye. I guess it's better than both, huh?" she asked now looking around for water.  
  
"Huh? Oh, yeah." he trailed off remembering why it only affected the one eye.  
  
"Does it still hurt?" she asked, still rummaging through the run down information center.  
  
"It burns, but I'll be okay." he answered, now joining her in the hunt for water.  
  
"Ah ha! Found some!" she said as she pulled up an aged bottle of water from an old cooler still running in a back room.   
  
"That's some luck..." he said as she walked over to him, opening the bottle.   
  
"Here, tilt your head back and to the side so I can flush the stuff out." she said as he did so.  
  
"Seems like Mr. Froggy wasn't a froggy at all." Spike mumbled as she poured the water gently over his eye.   
  
"Yeah, I guess Mr. Froggy is Mr. Toady." Faye said to confirm it.  
  
"About my eye..." he started when she finished pouring the water and cut him off.  
  
"Don't worry about it, I won't tell Jet. I think he'd be upset to hear that the 'big kid' cried over a little toad." she said jokingly, missing the fact that he was about to actually talk to her.  
  
"Never mind..." he said, "Lets find this woman so we can get the hell out of here.  
  
They walked out of the building and went to the next abandoned building. Faye looked in the windows as Spike glanced at the other buildings. A couple hundred feet away from them was a bar. It looked promising, so Spike grabbed Faye and started to head toward it.  
  
"Do you think any people actually go to it?" Faye asked looking at the sign on top of the bar, "Drunk Dog Saloon? What kind of name is that?" she asked.  
  
"The kind of name that our bounty scams in." he said.  
  
"And how do you know?" she demanded, yanking her arm out of his grip.  
  
He stopped and turned around to Faye. He sighed and replied, "Because Ed told me. You really should listen to her more."  
  
"Wha...?" she began as he grabbed her arm again and headed toward the entrance, only stopping in front to fill Faye in on the details.   
  
"Ok. This is the plan you so desperately need. You go in, sit down, order a drink– he started to say when Faye cut in.  
  
"I don't have any money to get a drink!" she protested.  
  
"Shut up! It's not like you're going to pay for it!" He argued, "ANYWAY, you order a friggin' drink. Chat it up if you want to. Keep an eye out for our little Red, and play the Innocent Slut part you're so good at."   
  
"Innocent Slut? I am NOT a slut!" She screamed at him, stomping her heel into his shoe.  
  
"Oh no, I'm dying. I've been slayed by your dull heel." he smirked, "Just do what I said and things will go fine."  
  
"I swear I'm going to..." she muttered and headed inside.   
  
"Ha...this is going to be fun..." Spike laughed to himself, sitting down in front of the saloon. He lit up another cigarette to kill some time before his entrance. 


	3. Done By Our Will

Here's chapter 3. Hope ya like it :P Enjoy!  
  
Ah, I've been forgetting this: Disclaimer! I don't own Cowboy Bebop ::pout::  
  
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Faye walked through the front doors of the dank saloon and made her way to the bar. "I have a feeling I'm going to need this drink." she muttered as she hopped onto a crappy stool in the sweltering bar. It was cooler outside than in this run down saloon.   
  
"What will you have miss?" the bartender asked wiping down the counter in front of her.  
  
"Surprise me." Faye said and turned around on her stool to scope out the place.   
  
There were few people here, and it was no wonder. This place was seriously in need of some renovations. The wood floors were stained with who knows what. There was a lone pool table in the back corner where two people played. The pool table itself was in terrible condition. One leg was missing, and it was replaced by delicately placed books, which were also in bad shape. There were stains all over the once green felt of the pool table, and if Faye was counting correctly, it was missing a couple of game balls.  
  
A lone fan spun around slowly above her head, and it was missing a blade. The few tables that were here looked as if they had seen better days.   
  
"Here you are miss." the bartender said as Faye spun around to receive her drink.  
  
"Thanks. Hey, um...would you happen to know if any other women come in here?" she asked taking a sip of her drink.  
  
"Just one other. She usually is here by now. This is kinda like her hideout, but you didn't hear that from me." he said, cleaning a fractured glass now.  
  
"Her hideout, huh? So she's on the run?" she inquired further while testing the drink out still.  
  
"She's got a bounty on her head. She's done me no harm, so I let her hang out here. And she keeps the place clean for a free drink" he said.  
  
"Ah." she replied and gulped down the rest of her drink. One of the pool players came up and sat next to Faye on an equally decrepit barstool.   
  
"Hey gorgeous. What's a pretty little thing like you doing in a dump like this?" he said, half drunk as the words poured out of his mouth like hot butter. His hot breath fumed out of his mouth and wrapped itself around Faye's senses, almost making her gag.   
  
"Oh, just getting a drink." she said and smiled at him remembering what Spike had said. "Innocent slut, my ass." she thought to herself.  
  
"Aw well, lemme take you outta here to a place I know." he said, scooting his stool closer to her.   
  
She stood up and bowed, "No thanks, I have plans with someone else. I don't think he'd–" she started to say when Spike came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Appreciate you hitting on my woman." he said, finishing her sentence giving the drunken man a "get lost" look.  
  
"Aw shit, I was just saying hi." he said as he walked back to the pool table.   
  
"So, I'm your woman now?" she asked, now sitting back down at the bar.  
  
"Once again Faye, you wish. I was just getting rid of him so we could focus on the bounty." he said sitting at the now vacant barstool and motioning to the bartender for a drink.  
  
"She's not here yet." Faye said blankly.  
  
"I can see that," he said, "She'll be here."  
  
The bartender brought over Spike's drink and went back to cleaning. They sat there and just watched time tick by until there was a sound outside.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Faye asked, and Spike was already out the door to see.  
  
Upon exiting the saloon, he saw a motorcycle on its side and a person pinned under it. He jogged over to it to help, and when he arrived, he saw that the person stuck under the bike was indeed who they'd been waiting for.   
  
"Perfect timing." Spike said as he looked to see who was under the bike.  
  
"Um, that's great and all, but I don't know you," she said and tried pushing the bike off of her, "Could you help me get this off before it cuts off circulation to anything?" she pleaded.  
  
Just as she finished her sentence, Faye made her way to the scene only to smile and sigh in gratitude for the apparent ease at catching the bounty.  
  
"Hey, look who it is!" Faye said calmly and looked down at Red.  
  
"Ok, now this is creepy. I don't know either of you...unless..." she trailed off, sighing and laying her head down on the ground.  
  
"That's right. We "know" you from Big Shot. So, we'll take this bike off your hands if you cooperate and come along with us." Spike said cooly.  
  
"This really isn't fair! I haven't done anything wrong in months!" she argued.  
  
"It's not our problem. Your bounty is going to feed me for weeks, so I don't really care right now." he said lifting the heavy motorcycle off of her small frame as he motioned for Faye to handcuff her so she couldn't get away.  
  
"What about my bike?" she begged, now handcuffed and standing up.  
  
"It doesn't seem like you can handle it. Maybe you shouldn't have bought such a big bike for your little figure." Faye commented.  
  
"I didn't mean it that way, you idiot. I mean, what's gonna happen to it? I spent a lot of money on that thing!" she said.  
  
"I don't think you need to worry about that now." Spike said as he led her to his ship.  
  
"Hold it right there!" a man yelled from the distance.  
  
"What the fu..." Spike started to say and turned around to see who it was.  
  
"The bartender? Why does he care?" Faye asked aloud drawing her gun just in case.  
  
"Leave her be! You can't take her!" he shouted, now running towards them. As he got closer, they noticed the large shotgun he was carrying at his side.  
  
"Great..." Spike said and looked over at Faye.  
  
"What the...?" she said.  
  
"Let's just see what he's got to say. His gun is much bigger than ours." Spike said.  
  
Once over to where they were standing, he stopped and let out a huge sigh, "You...can't...she's..." he panted, out of breath from running.  
  
"You don't have to do this. Just take care of my bike. I'll be out soon." Red said to him.  
  
"But...that's...not...enough...I mean...you are my da–"  
  
"I said don't fucking worry about it old man! Just take care of the bike!" Red yelled at him.  
  
"But..." he said in shock.  
  
"No 'buts,' just do it. It's not a big deal." she said and nodded to her bike.   
  
"Better listen to the little lady," Spike said, "They seem to know what they're talking about."  
  
"How like you." Faye scoffed and kicked some dirt at him.  
  
"And I'm not little!" Red howled and kicked Spike in the shin.  
  
"Ow! Shit that hurts! Lets go! I'm not putting up with two of you at the same time!" he said and pushed Red up into the Swordfish II.   
  
"Faye, you start heading to the ISSP headquarters where we can cash her in and get back to the ship." he shouted to her, now boarding her Redtail.   
  
She nodded and hopped in, closing it up and starting up the ship with a roar. She took off in the direction of their destination and dug around for her cigarettes.  
  
"I must admit, that was incredibly easy. Almost too easy..." she said to herself when she heard a "BOOM" from on the ground and watched a fiery explosion come from the front of the saloon. Spike was still on the ground, getting Red strapped in. Faye opened her com and shouted to Spike, "What the hell was that?!"   
  
"It was her fucking motorcycle! It must've been carrying something! Come back down here to help me figure this out." he said and turned off the com. He jumped down from his ship and ran over to fire coming from the bike. The bartender was lying motionless a few feet away and Spike ran over to him to see if he needed medical attention.  
  
"Hey! Are you awake?! Can you hear me? Say something!" he shouted, dragging the man away from the wreckage. Faye landed a few feet away from the Swordfish II and ran over to the scene.  
  
The man suddenly jumped up and pointed the shotgun right at Spike's head. "Now you're gonna give me my daughter and get the hell out of here!" he screamed.  
  
"Just calm down. Put the gun down and we'll give her over." he said calmly.  
  
"NO! You get her out of that ship now and get out here!" he yelled, his gun shaking all over.  
  
Faye tried to keep out of the way once she saw the bartender whip out his shotgun. She was Spike's best and only chance of getting the bounty at this point.  
  
"I better not screw this up..." she whispered to herself. She crouched behind a tall bush and got her gun out.  
  
"Oh I have a feeling you will sweetie." said Red from behind her and kicked the gun from Faye's hands.   
  
"Shit! What is this?! Why can't one bounty just happen smoothly?!" Faye screamed, alerting the bartender's and Spike's attention to them.  
  
"How the fuck did you get out of there?! I had you strapped in like sardines in a tin can!" Spike yelled in complaint.  
  
"Got a little figure, remember?" she said grinning at him, now pointing a gun at Faye.  
  
"You're both stuck now, so you might as well just listen to us," Red said as she pushed Faye next to Spike, "You're going to follow my pop here into his bar, and you aren't going to say a word. 'Kay? Can you handle that?"  
  
Spike sent Faye a "Don't respond" look and they stood there, waiting the next command.  
  
"I'll take that as a 'yes.' Let's go." Red said and pointed to the door.   
  
They did just as she said and walked next to him into the bar. He led them into a back room and Red quietly asked the few guests to leave. The bartender motioned them over to a small couch in the back of the room, still pointing his shotgun at them.  
  
"Now we're going to cuff ya up back here, probably tie ya up, too. Then we're going to make off with your fancy red ship," she said to Spike. "I'd take the other one, too, but I've already noticed the neat little remote you've got for it there sweetie." she said to Faye this time.  
  
"How'd you...?" Faye began.  
  
"Don't worry about it hun. Long story." Red said gathering an armful of rope as her dad/bartender kept his aim on them.  
  
She continued to tie them back-to-back and cuffed their ankles up. "You two look pretty crafty, so I'm not taking any chances with you escaping. Have fun while we're gone!" she said. First, she walked over to Spike and began to dig through his pockets.  
  
"Nice! A key and smokes! Someone after my heart!" she said and gestured for her dad to follow her.  
  
About ten minutes after they heard the engines of the Swordfish II fire up and take off, Spike finally said, "Well, that went good." 


	4. Doesn't Get Any Worse Than That

Chapter 4 coming right up! This chapter is a little different than the first three. It's going to be from Spike's POV. I have a Faye-chapter like this in mind, but I don't plan on doing it back-to-back with this one...that would just be silly! Enjoy! And thanks to everyone that has reviewed so far! I like to hear what you like and what I can work on to make this story better, it being my first and all that jazz :D  
  
Disclaimer-ness: I do not own Cowboy Bebop!  
  
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"Well, that went good." I said. I know Faye heard me, but I don't think she really cared for my tone. Well, she didn't say anything or complain, so I really don't know.  
  
At least ten more minutes went by in complete silence. Now, I usually can handle a nice, peaceful quiet time, but this isn't one of those times. I mean, I'm strapped back-to-back with Faye, of all people. And she's not talking. I can't see her face, so it doesn't make me feel any better about the situation. In fact, it's quite annoying.  
  
"Are you alive over there?" I asked impatiently.  
  
"Yes Spike. I'm alive and well." she replied.  
  
At least she's talking now. Annoyance level going down.  
  
"So, you got any ideas?" I asked, trying to keep the flow going.  
  
"Not a one." she said. This wasn't like Faye. She'd usually be raging right now for being caught like this. Instead, she was being calm and placating me, something that a Normal Faye could not stomach. I could feel the heat from her back through my jacket and shirt. It was really hot in this small room.  
  
"What the hell is your problem woman?" I sputtered out, regretting it before I even said it. I should get that checked out–you know, talking without thinking first.  
  
"My problem?" she repeated.  
  
I sat silent, awaiting her much anticipated rage. Weirdest thing...it never came. The heat was getting worse, along with the smell. This room had no circulation at all. I guess the crappy bartender became cheap when it came to furnishing his hostage room.  
  
"I'm upset that she knows about my remote for the Redtail." she answered simply.  
  
"Are you kidding? That's your answer?! You're always thinking about yourself, Faye!" I snapped at her.   
  
Even with that, still no Angry Faye. This is baffling me. I feel like I must get to her before my head explodes with disbelief. But, I bit my lip.   
  
What? I'm holding back? Since when do I, Spike Spiegel, hold back anything? Especially from her? She deserves an all-out verbal assault for this...I mean, of all things, me holding back!   
  
I still say nothing. The unnerving silence continues.  
  
"Spike?" she says after a couple minutes.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why didn't you pull your gun on them back there?" she asked.  
  
"To save it for later." I responded.  
  
"Oh." she said.   
  
This was going nowhere, and now I'm just plain aggravated. The only reason I can think of for not ripping at her seams with insults and sarcasm is...no, it can't be. I mean, this is Faye. How desperate would I have to be to want Faye like that? HA! Impossible. I must be hungry, that's it. And I bet the sticky heat isn't helping my thinking right now.  
  
"I wonder when they're going to come back." she said quietly.  
  
"I don't plan on staying for their return." I said, feeling a fat droplet of sweat roll down my forehead and into my eyebrow.  
  
"What about the Swordfish II?" she asked.  
  
"You've still got the Redtail. That's all we need." I answered.  
  
"That's if we get out of these ropes and cuffs." she stated.  
  
"Already working on it." I said and knocked my shoe off with the tip of the other one.   
  
"What are you doing?" she asked.  
  
"Working on it," I said flatly, "When I tell you to, scoot backwards, okay?"   
  
"Okay." she said.  
  
"Go." I told her, and as she scooted back, I scooted forward, bringing my hands to where my discarded shoe was now sitting.  
  
I pulled my left hand out from behind my back and grabbed my shoe. The movement seemed to temporarily relieve the heat.  
  
"Hey! How'd you get your hand loose?" she questioned while trying to look back at what I was doing.  
  
"That Red bitch sucks at tying up hands, and it helps that my wrists are all sweaty from the humidity in here," I said dryly as I pulled the little metal pick from my shoe, "Good thing I keep one of these in here." I said pretty much to myself since Faye couldn't see what I was doing anyway.  
  
"Keep a what?" she asked, becoming more and more like the Faye I'm used to.  
  
"A pick. I'm going to unlock the cuffs around my ankles." I said and reached down to my feet to begin picking the lock.  
  
Faye sat quietly as I worked at the cuffs. "Aren't you going to beg for me to unlock your's too?" I asked, amazed that I got to the question first.  
  
"I just assumed that you would, or I'd figure a way out of it." she said meekly.  
  
Damnit, she's back to Quiet Faye again. I hate this. It's making me uncomfortable now. And uncomfortable is just annoying.  
  
"Right." I said, not really knowing what to say or do. I finally unlocked the cuffs and unwrapped the rope from myself, and then Faye. She just sat there, like a helpless child.  
  
"So...yeah, I guess I'll get those cuffs for you then." I said and moved to her ankles.  
  
I took off her pearly white boots and set them aside. As I worked on unlocking her from her cuffs, I had to hold the cuff steady and I noticed how soft her skin is, even if it is her ankle and foot. It's smooth like silk and soft like a new blanket. It's nice.  
  
I think she noticed that I was admiring her skin as I worked at picking the lock because she sighed and lied flat on her back. Or maybe she was just saying, "Hurry the hell up so I can get out of here and take a shower." The woman says a lot in just a little sigh.   
  
I finally got her cuffs unlocked after what seemed like forever. But I didn't really mind as much as Faye did. I think she fell asleep.  
  
"Hey, Faye?" I asked poking her in the calf. "You awake?"  
  
No reply.  
  
"Faye. Get up. We have to get out of here and get my ship back."  
  
Still nothing.  
  
"Is your skin naturally that soft or do you have surgery to keep it like that Grandma?" I said.  
  
And with that, I received a quick kick to the side of my head.  
  
"OW!" I said rubbing my temple, looking at her as she stood up and put her shoes back on.  
  
I guess she's back to normal now. Thank God.   
  
"How are we going to find these assholes?" Faye asked as she walked from the back room to the bar.  
  
I got up and followed her. They closed the place up pretty good. The doors were closed and locked up, as well as the windows, making it very dark in the already dismal saloon.  
  
Faye leaned over the bar and grabbed a bottle of Vodka. "I think I'll borrow this." she said and went to the doors to inspect them for an exit.  
  
"They're locked up pretty good. Looks like we're stuck again." I said to her.  
  
"Are you kidding me? If you're saying that we're stuck, you must have a fever. Would you like some Vodka to bring yourself back to sanity?" she asked offering me the bottle.  
  
"I was gauging you for a response."   
  
"Since when do you do that?" she questioned me impatiently and put her hand on her hip.  
  
"Since you started acting weird." I said.  
  
"And when exactly did I start acting weird?"   
  
"In there!" I said pointing to the backroom, "You weren't fighting me or anything. Not typical of you at all, Faye." I replied.  
  
"Can't a girl be quiet?" she said.  
  
"No. Not you. You're never quiet; you're not allowed to start now."   
  
"Seems like it bothers you. Maybe I'll make it habit." she said with a grin.  
  
"Let's just go." I said and pulled out my gun, shooting at the lock on the doors. It fell apart, like they always do when you shoot them, and I proceeded to kick the doors open.  
  
We walked out to see the Redtail, about 100 feet away and started to head out to it.   
  
"Wait. I have a better idea." I said.  
  
"What's that?" Faye asked.  
  
"Bring it here, so if they're hiding around somewhere, we can get away quickly." I said pointing to the remote/bracelet shining in my eye.  
  
"Fine." she said and hit a button on the remote, which started up her ship and began to fly it over to where we were standing at the entrance of the saloon.  
  
"Ok, let's go." I said as it landed and opened up.  
  
I climbed in first and squeezed into the tiny cockpit. Faye climbed in next and closed the Redtail up.   
  
"Where now?" she asked.  
  
"Let's just go back to the Bebop. I can worry about the Swordfish II later." I said with a huff because there was just about to room for me in the Redtail at all.   
  
She headed toward the Bebop and about an hour later we were landing.  
  
"Faye? Is that you? Where's Spike?" Jet asked popping onto her com.  
  
"I'm here." I replied for Faye.  
  
"What?! Where's the Swordfish II?" he asked.   
  
"Um, I don't really know." I responded with a small chuckle.  
  
"Don't you even care that your damn ship is gone?" he asked, growing impatient.  
  
"She always returns to me, so I'm not really worried about it." I said.  
  
"Just land and tell me what happened." he said and shut off the com.  
  
Faye landed the Redtail and opened the hatch. She climbed out and headed for the shower. Just like I thought she didn't say. I noticed that she forgot her cigarettes in the cockpit, so I grabbed one for later.   
  
Seems like Miss. Red took my last pack when she took my key. What a sweetheart.  
  
I made my way inside to see Jet cooking, as usual. I sat down on the couch as he brought me over a plate of the same shit we eat every night. I don't even want to dignify it with a name. I'm so sick of this garbage. If only we'd brought in that bounty today...  
  
"So tell me what happened." Jet said, sitting down in the chair across from me. 


	5. Don't Let It Burn You

"And then we slipped out of the bar before they returned. Which brings us to where we are right now."

"Just great." Jet huffed.

"Don't worry about my ship, like I said, she always comes back to me. I couldn't get rid of that tin can if I wanted to." Spike said.

"I'm more worried about eating tomorrow." Faye said flatly.

"I didn't tell _you_ not to worry. I'm holding you responsible for any damages to the Swordfish." Spike told her.

"What?! It's not even my ship!" she choked out as she sipped on a glass of water.

"You're the one who wanted to go along with me." he said.

"Agh! Not fair!" she screamed and stormed off to her room.

::SLAM::

"How is it possible to be _that_ cruel?" Jet asked Spike with a chuckle.

"Cruel? I was just messing with her. She's the one who gets all worked up. Kinda fun to watch her wind up like that." Spike commented.

"Ha! That's classic. I still feel kinda bad for her sometimes, though. I mean, she probably thinks we're always out to get her." Jet said getting up and heading to her room.

"What? We're _not_ always out to get Faye?" Spike asked with a confused look on his face and followed Jet down the hall.

Her door was shut, as could be expected from the slam and the Angry Faye fit that had just occurred moments before.

Jet leaned up against the door to listen for any sign of life.

Spike rounded the corner and leaned against the opposite wall to watch Jet.

"Hear anything?" Spike asked.

"Nothing at all." He answered and walked away.

"That's it? You're done investigating?" Spike questioned him, puzzled.

"What, are you crazy? You think I'm going in there? HA." He answered with a content look on his face and headed back to the living room area.

Jet continued to walk away from her room, leaving Spike there alone. Spike looked at her door for a minute or two, and then pressed his ear up against the door to listen as Jet had been doing. He heard nothing.

His curiosity got the best of him and he slowly turned the doorknob and eased open the door. Spike saw Faye laying on her stomach on her bed with her head cradled in her crossed arms. He half-expected her to start kicking her feet in a tantrum and beat her fists on the bed, but she didn't move. Her boots were carelessly tossed to the other side of the cramped room. She wasn't moving, and Spike assumed that she had fallen to sleep.

He tiptoed to her side and crouched down to the floor and sat quietly. He just sat there and watched her for a few minutes. Her eyes were shut tight and she was breathing slowly.

"Must be asleep," he thought to himself.

Spike lifted his hand over to the bed. He sat it down next to her, without touching her. It seemed as if everything moved in slow motion, and as if all of his movements were as heavy as lead weights.

She let out a restless sigh and rustled around a little. Spike retracted his hand back to his body and continued to watch. She was so much smaller than him, but she had so much energy, even while she slept. When she stopped moving around, he put his hand back on the mattress.

He leaned in close to her face and whispered, "Get up Faye" as he poked her hand with his index finger.

"Mmmmrrghhh," she groaned and opened her eyes. "Urrrghhhh...what could you possibly want? Did you find your ship? Are you here to give me a repair bill? What is it?" she spat at him.

"I just wanted to say that I was joking about that." He said.

"That's it? You woke me up for that?" she hissed.

"Yeah."

Out of nowhere, a pilllow smacked Spike in the side of the head. His lighter fell out of his pocket from the soft impact. Faye was now sitting up and clenching the pillow.

"Do you feel better now?" he asked.

"You know, you are such an idiot sometimes!" she yelled and wound up another pillow assault. She almost succeeded in a second assault with said pillow when Spike grabbed the wrist that held the pillow.

Faye quickly dropped the pillow and sat their motionless. Her vivid green eyes dulled and glazed over as they drifted off into Spike's. She stared at him for a second and then shifted her glance down to the hand clutching her wrist. It felt so hot, as if a hot iron was wrapped around it and shoved into a fire.

His eyes were focused on Faye's the whole time, as if he were trying to see through her to get to the "real Faye." But other than that, Spike was just looking at her because he was utterly amazed that she would change moods so quickly and without warning.

The silence was intense, almost deafening, if such a thing is possible.

_This can't be the same Spike that just told me I had to pay for repairs on his stupid ship. Spike doesn't apologize to Faye. It's unheard of around here! Hell, it's unheard of in the whole damn universe. But, who am I to think about these things for long periods of time? _

_I wish she'd stop being Faye for like 5 minutes. I mean, I bet she'd be a pretty cool woman to have around if she'd stop being so damn childish, selfish, inconsiderate, and bullheaded. What am I saying? Faye? "Fun to have around?" HA!_

Spike dropped her wrist and it fell with a dead thud onto her bed. Faye quickly pulled her hand to her chest to intensify the awkwardness.

"I was just trying to get you to stop hitting me." Spike muttered indifferently and lifted himself off of the floor. He started to walk to her door when he stopped and turned his head to her, "No need to get your panties in a bunch, that is, if you can even wear any with that getup." He said and continued to walk down the hall to his room.

Faye continued to sit on her bed. She looked at her wrist as she rotated it to see it all around. It felt as if it had been touched by death, not that she knew what death felt like, but it felt like some dark force had possessed it while Spike was holding it. It was weird to her, almost as if he were somehow invading her body, in a completely non-perverted way.

Spike entered his room and flopped down onto his bed. He put a cigarette to his lips and reached for his lighter.

"Shit," he whispered, taking the cigarette out from between his lips. He got up and headed back to Faye's room. When he entered, she was laying on her side facing the wall, her back towards him. She was quiet like before.

"I dropped my lighter." He said as he picked it up. She still didn't move.

Spike left her room. "She must be in a mood again. Typical woman."

Ed rolled by Spike and into Faye's room. Ein followed closely behind her. Spike heard her as he headed back to his room, "Faye-Faye, time to wakey up!"

Spike sat back on his bed and pulled the lighter up to his cigarette and took a long, peacful drag. Well, as peaceful as it could get with moody women, goofy kids, and tick infested animals running all around him. Sure it was just Faye, Ed, and Ein, but it felt like there were dozens of each of them running around him trying to make his life absolute hell at every moment of the day.

My room was really dark. I forgot to hit the lights when I walked in. I was just in such a hurry to get this damn cigarette lit and its noxious fumes coursing through my lungs.

The hot smoke drifted in and out of me, and I kicked off my shoes. I finished the cigarette and then got up to turn on the lights. I made it to the door, and my hand clumsily batted at the wall for the switch.

A small, cold hand reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Who...?" I choked out and pulled my hand back to my side where my gun was still sitting.

::flick::

Oop. There goes the lights. Funny, because I didn't get to the switch. It's just Faye...

For a moment, Faye just stood there staring at him. Then, with no forewarning whatsoever she pounced onto Spike, sending the two of them reeling backwards onto his bed with a loud, hard thud.

"Faye?! What the hell has gotten into you?" Spike yelped as she got up and closed his door.

He didn't have time to get up, as he was still recovering from the tackle he received for absolutely no reason. Faye made her way back over to Spike and dropped onto her knees, which happened to place her at his waist. She dropped again, onto her hands and crawled up to look Spike directly in the eyes.

"Faye?" he said softly as she hovered over him, staring right at him.

"What?" she asked flatly.

"I never thought I'd have to say this, but I think you're a little too old for me." he replied with an unsure grin.

"And I never thought I'd do this but..." she said as she flopped down on top of Spike.

"Ooof!" he grunted and tried to crane his head so he could see her, but her face was buried in his chest.

"Faye?"

::sniffle::

"Hey Faye? This is what is known as a 'No Cry Zone.' If you're gonna cry, get out." He said, not even questioning why she was crying, and on top of him for that matter.

::sniffle::

Now that the initial shock of the tackle was gone, Spike gathered his strength and sat up slowly, adjusting Faye so she wouldn't fall or injure any more delicate body parts. He rolled her over to his side. She just sat there, her head hung low. Spike got up and went for his cigarettes on the other side of the room.

He lit one up and stood there for a moment, observing Faye. She sat on his bed with her head down still. She looked so defeated, as if she had given up.

Spike walked back over to her and held out a cigarette as a peace offering. She didn't take it, and remained motionless.

Now fed up with Zombie Faye, Spike kneeled down in front of her and tilted her chin up to get a look at her face. Her eyes were pinned shut, her tiny lips pursed like she just ate a gigantic lemon. Stray tears were smeared all over her cheeks.

"Faye..." Spike said softly, as if her were pleading with her to stop crying and go back to Bitchy Faye.

::sniffle::

"You can't just come in here and do this with no reason. And if you have a reason, you better start talking." He said to her trying to wipe some of the messy tears away. His discomfort with the situation grew with every passing minute.

::hiccup::sniffle::

::BZZZZZZZZZZT::CRRRRRRRKKKK::

"What the hell?!" Spike yelled as the lights went out in his room.


	6. Don't Come Running

Ok...so you really have to bear with me with this chapter. I make a HUGE jump in the timeline here, and I use some of the existing show in trying this jump. If it sucks, I totally understand. It's been done many times before...I know because I read also. I'm working on it...it's kinda predictable, and I'm sure you can guess what will happen when I'm done. (Try to) Enjoy :P

* * *

Spectacular. Now the lights are out and Faye is still crying. In my room. She's breaking some serious laws by doing this right now. You know, Spike-laws. Well, there's nothing I can do about _that_ right now. Time to move back to the first problem.

"Faye, can you see anything?" I asked. Pretty dumb question now that I think about it.

::sniffle:: "Nope." She said quietly.

::flick::

"How 'bout now?" I asked as I held up my lighter.

"A little." She answered.

"C'mon. Follow me or get your lighter so we can figure out what the hell is going on." I told her.

I heard my bed squeak as she stood up and her feet shuffled over to me. I felt her little hand latch onto the sleeve of my jacket as if she was going to get lost.

"I have a candle that I picked up as a souveneir when I was on Earth last month. It's in my room. I'll get it so you don't burn up your lighter." She said and started to walk down the hall to her room guided by her lighter now.

"Alright. Meet me back here." I said.

Moments later, I hear a muffled scream come from Faye's room.

"What now?" I asked myself as I jogged down to her room.

I turned into her room and held my lighter out to see what happened.

"You okay?"

"I'll be much better when the damn lights are back on!" she yelled. Ahh. That's better. Bitchy Faye.

::BZZZZZZZZZZZZT::

"Ooop. There you go. Your wish has come true." I said putting my lighter back into my pocket.

Shit. Now that the lights are back on, Faye might go back to Sad Faye. I know! I'll pretend nothing happened!

"I'm going to look for Jet. He might know why we lost the lights." I said and walked toward the control room.

"He left before the power went out." She said, getting up and brushing herself off.

"Oh. Weird, he didn't say he was leaving...I didn't even hear him go." I said turning to the holding bay.

I got there to find that my ship was gone. I totally forgot about that. Shit. Now I really can't get away from Faye. Guess it's time to do what I do best.

I headed toward the living room and plopped down on the couch. I lied down and was sleeping like a baby a few minutes later. I don't know how long I was sleeping, but the next thing I knew I was hit by a cold metal object tossed by a big bald guy sitting in front of me.

"Morning princess." He said setting down a plate of food in front of me. The "cold metal object" is the key to my Swordfish.

"Morning. Hey, where were you earlier?" I asked, putting the key into my pocket.

"Out finding that bounty head who gave us the slip before."

"What a surprise," I said patting the pocket where I had just put my key, "Where was she?" I asked and began to scarf down the deceitful concoction.

"I was out buying supplies and food when I saw your ship parked in the same lot as mine. I went over to check it out and she popped out."

"And then...??" I said awaiting the outcome.

"I asked her nicely to give it to me, and she did." He said with a smirk.

"What?? You're kidding."

"Nope."

"What's the catch?" I asked.

"I told her we'd stop trying to cash in on her bounty." He answered with a disappointed look on his face and pulled out a cigarette.

"Aw, sorry. There's always next time." I said.

"You never know." He said putting the cigarette in his mouth.

"Never know what?"

"About next time. Might not be a 'next time.' I guess you're right when you say it doesn't really matter in the end, huh Spike?" Jet said raising a hand to the top of his hand, as if he were really going to scratch it.

"Guess not." I said and walked off to the bathroom.

* * *

I guess that I'll start from there and tell you what happened afterwards. I'm writing this all down so that I can remember it later on. I don't want to forget any of the minute details, no matter how painful they are.

Spike got his Swordfish back. I got something far more important back. My memory. I had tried and tried to pluck some memory from that tape. I'd watch it over and over again, hoping that I'd suddenly remember, or at least feel like it was strangely familiar and slowly but surely get my memories back.

I know Spike said that the past doesn't matter, because I have a future...and sure, that made a lot of sense, but I couldn't let it go once that tape came into my life.

I was taking a shower when it happened: my memory came flooding back to me as if it were back from vacation and ready to settle back in to my life. I tried to push the distant memories of days past over so I could finish my shower and go on with the day, but it just wasn't happening. I grabbed my robe and quickly ran out of the bathroom, heading toward my room.

Spike came out from the bathroom as I was rushing to my room. I ran right into him. I really tried to avoid running into him, but I was just in too much of a hurry, I guess.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" he shouted.

"I-I'm sorry."

"You're...sorry?"

"Yes..." I said quietly as I shifted my glance downward. I just realized how cold this ship is when you're dripping wet in a robe.

"I've gotta go." I said quietly and continued to run to my room.

So I left. I got my stuff and went to the place where I thought my home would be. Nothing but rubble awaited me. I spent the night, and I thought a lot. I realized how right Spike was about forgetting the past and I made my way back to the Bebop. But not before I ran into _her_. The so-called Julia. I ended up helping her out, only to be duped. She knew who I was the whole damn time, and asked me to relay a cryptic message to Spike. I wish I could've found out how she knew that I knew her beloved Spike.

What happened after this wasn't what I'd call a happy memory. Not a happy one at all. Basically, Spike left all of us. He went off to die. Something about "seeing if he's really alive," and all that. I tried to get him to stop. Didn't work too good.

She really was something else.

Well, not much to say about that except she must've been some kind of woman to get his undivided attention like that. It was as if he were a different person than the Spike we all came to know.

I'd be a liar if I said we didn't love him in our own way.

I'd be a liar if I said I didn't love him.

But, he left anyway. Maybe if we had expressed our feelings toward each other once in a while he might've considered staying. No need to think about that stuff now. Nothing can be done to change it.

And then there were four(Well, it was really two because I didn't know that Ed and Ein were gone).

I thought that Jet was handling it better than me, but I was wrong. Men are like that; they just don't know how to show emotion when it's perfectly okay to. They hold it in and wait until it's so big inside them that they just explode.

Men really are stupid.

Before everything came crashing down, Jet told me everything he knew about Spike. About the Syndicate, and as much as he could piece together about Vicious and Julia. I wasn't shocked by it, but I wasn't exactly excited either.

Our Spike...a killer in a big bad syndicate?

She really must have been something else.

About a day later, Jet exploded. I think imploded is a better word. He lost it and left the ship, limping away. Seeing him hobble off made me feel so damn guilty. I felt guilty that I wasn't going. I didn't ask him where he was going, because I already knew. I just waited for him to return to hear the two words that I've replayed in my head ever since: "He's dead." It's easier to move on if you just force yourself to belive it.

"He's dead." I whispered.

"Huh?" Ed chirped from the other side of the room where she was playing with her Tomato.

"Oh, nothing. Don't listen to me Ed." I said shaking my head and went back to writing.

Jet never came back. Enough time passed for me to worry, so I headed out to find him. I made it to the scene of it all. What a disaster. The damn building looked like a bomb had been dropped onto it. I got ahold of one of the police officers handling whatever was left to handle.

Jet had came, and he had saw.

And that was the end of it for him.

Supposedly there were some pissed-off syndicate guys still hanging around when he got there. And I can just imagine how Jet reacted to them. I'm sure he wasn't about to have a cup of tea with them and discuss the goings-on of the massacre that had occurred there that night.

And then there was one.

The cops wouldn't tell me a thing more. So I just forced myself to believe: He's dead. As dead as poor Jet is because of it all.

When I went back to the Bebop, I was about to let Ed know that Spike and Jet wouldn't be back, but then I realized that she already knew. I mean, she is Radical Edward, the baddest hacker of them all. I looked around for her. I couldn't find her or Ein, or even her ugly little computer.

A few weeks passed by. It was so damn quiet on the ship. I struggled to catch the biggest bounties that I could manage by myself. It wasn't easy at all, and there were a few close calls. I was so used to having everyone to help out a little. I think I took it for granted a little.

About two months later, Ed showed up one day, dog in tow. She said that her "father-person" had left Earth without her. Someone had kicked up his bounty and he was fleeing the bounty hunters.

I remember telling Ed that "belonging is the very best." She's getting older now, you know, the crucially important teenage years that can make or break you. She claimed to be about 13 when she first came to live on the Bebop, so that's got to make her close to 14 or 15 now. I couldn't just let her leave to fend for herself again. Not the new-old me.

So, now there are three. Three's a crowd, but still not enough to keep things running on the Bebop. We were having more and more problems with expenses, so about a month ago I decided that it was time to lead a more normal life.

And that brings us to the present. I just sold the Bebop for a nice fat credit to my card. And Ed is helping me save it so I don't blow it all in a casino, the dog track, or any kind of racing-gambling-betting-giving your money away type thing.

After a small shopping spree(Ed too, not just me), I got a nice little apartment on Mars that sits on top of a bar where I'm the new bartender. My kind of job, you know? Tomorrow, we move into the new place to start our new lives.

I'm terrified.

With this "new-old memory," I've come to realize that the Faye I have been since I woke up is nothing like the Faye I was back in my so-called "first life." I guess it really doesn't matter now, as Spike would say. But, I still can't help but think about what it'd be like if I all of a sudden flipped back to the old Faye. I think little by little, I'm blending a little of the old me into the present me. The Past Faye is giving the Present Faye a swift kick in the ass to get it together for the Future Faye.

"Faye-Faye?"

"Yeah, what's up Ed?"

"Whatcha writing?"

"Oh, nothing special. Just keeping a log of what's happened lately so I don't forget." I said with a small chuckle. Forget...how can I possibly forget anything?

How could I forget Jet?

...Or Spike?

"Faye-Faye?" Ed asked again.

"What?"

"What am I gonna do all day while you're working away-way?"

"Well, it's right downstairs, and I know you aren't serious...I mean, you've got your computer there and Ein...You should act like nothing has changed. Just the scenery." I said. I guess I'm not so good at this "being motherly" thing yet.

"Oh...cause I kinda wanted to start going to school."

"Ed?" I said, astonished.

"Yeeeeah?" she giggled.

"You think you need school? You're a frickin' genius, but if you want to go, I'll see what I can do. Just give me a little time."

"Can do!" she squealed and rolled around like she was on crack.

And have I ever mentioned that I don't think she has any bones?

Writing this is wearing me down emotionally...I need to take a break. Tomorrow the new life officially begins.

I'm still terrified.


	7. The Beginning Without An End

Ok, so I think the transition to the part of the story went a little better after I redid it...Thank gawd none of you have to read the original crap! You'd probably burn me alive for it! Hope you like the turn in the story...I know it's totally predictable, but it's gonna get better(I think it is XD)

* * *

"Hey toots, gimme another one of them." The man at the corner edge of the bar said to Faye.

"Coming right up." she said, feigning a smile so she didn't smack him for just being alive.

Faye had changed. Her hair was a little longer, and she had it pulled back into a ponytail. Looks good, and makes her eyes stand out a lot more. She is dressed so different...no more slutty yellow, gravity defying outfit.

Wonder if she still has it...

Anyway, she's probably just dressed for work. That's gotta be it.

I still can't believe I found this place. I walked in, tipped my hat down toward the floor to cover my face, and headed to the back corner to a dark and dismal seat. I can see the whole bar from here.

She slid the druken man his requested drink, and went to the back. Another bartender came out and took over for her.

Is her shift over? I should've got here earlier. Oh wait, she's coming out to the front of the bar and putting on a apron. Looks like she's taking orders now.

Ha...this will be fun.

Just my luck—she's going to wait on me. And here she is...

"Hi, how are you doing today?" she asked ever so politely. Is she an actress, or what?

"Fine." I said quietly, looking down at the menu.

"Can I get you a drink to start?"

"Sure, but you never told me." I said just as quietly to hide my voice from her.

"Never told you? What's that?" she asked, slightly confused. She probably wants to smack me or cry...I can't tell which yet.

"Your name, Faye."

"Excuse me?? How'd you know..." she started to say when I stopped her and pointed at her nametag.

"Oh...gosh, that was pretty dumb of me."

"I'll have a Cowboy." I said, smiling so wide it's a shame my face is hidden underneath this huge-ass hat.

"Any appetizers for you?"

"Not yet. Just the drink. And an ashtray."

"Comin' right up." She said and walked away.

How long can I keep this up? It's really funny. But it'll be a waste if I don't let her know it's me.

"Here you are." She said putting the ashtray down and reached for her notepad to take my order.

"What will you have this evening?"

"Not hungry, just thirsty."

"Oh well, if you do get hungry just call me."

"When are you done tonight?" I asked smoothly before she walked away.

"Um, no offense, but that doesn't really matter to you." She said, getting a bit defensive.

"I'd like to tell you something important. I can't do it here."

"I don't even know..." she said as I cut her off again.

"I've got some info you'll want."

"Sir, I really don't want..."

"Please, just wait for me." I said so smoothly that if she didn't agree I'd be shocked.

"Um, ok...at nine. I'll be out front." she said trying to put herself back together, since it was obvious that I had shaken her up.

Awesome. She took the bait. Just two more hours.

Nine o'clock rolls around. I'm standing up against the wall outside of the bar. A small and quiet figure known as Faye walks up next to me.

"You came." I whispered.

"Yeah, but I can't stay long. I've got to get home to my family."

"Family? You don't seem like the girl who'd settle down so young." I said, shocked at this notion of Faye with kids running around and a man waiting for her arrival.

"We're not really a traditional family, but we have to stay together now."

"Sounds tragic." I said, contemplating what that could mean.

"You have no idea." She whispered as she shifted her weight uneasily.

"How's life been for you, Faye? How has the last year been?"

"I don't think that's any of your business. Would you just tell me what you came out here to tell me??"

"How's Jet, Faye? How are Ed and Ein, Faye? How is life? Please answer me. I'd really like to know." I asked, almost in my normal voice now.

"Just who the hell are you?!" she screamed and jumped a good five feet away from me.

I walked closer to her and took off my hat. It was really dark, so I know she couldn't see me. I kept walking closer to her until she backed into a wall on the side of the bar.

Her face was slightly illuminated by a streak of moonlight, while mine was still shadowed.

"Don't make me hurt you!" she yelled and reached to her side. Still has the gun. Smart girl.

I quickly pinned her wrists to the wall.

"Ow!" she cried.

"I'm sorry, Faye. I just don't want you to shoot me. Bullets hurt." I said, in my normal tone of voice now.

"Oh my..." she gasped and went limp in my arms.

"Shit." I said and carried her tiny body over to a nearby bench on the sidewalk.

A few moments later, she came to, but I think she really wanted to stay unconcious.

"You can't be...I don't believe...this isn't real...must be dreaming..." she babbled incoherently.

"Stop." I said and hugged her. She shook in my arms, but didn't refuse them. Instead she wrapped her slender arms around my neck and squeezed so hard I thought she was trying to choke me.

"Sorry." She sniffled.

"I'm the one who should be sorry."

She sat there quietly. One moment she was Quiet Faye, the next she was Destructive Faye.

"Just who the hell do you think you are!? You asshole!" she screamed and stood up, starting to walk away from me.

"Wait! Don't you care that I'm alive?"

"For two minutes. Remember that hug there? That was me caring that you were alive. Now I'm amazed that you have the audacity to just pop back and act like it's ok!" she howled.

"I never meant..." I started, but this time she cut me off.

"If you think that everyone will just stop and bow down to you, Mr. Big Bad Ex-Syndicate Bastard, then you're dead wrong! Except you're still fricking alive! AGH!" She said, stomping her foot and clenching her fists at her sides.

It was cute, watching her get so mad...but I have to get her to calm down. Wait a sec...did she just call me...

"He told you!" I said shocked.

"What?!" she screamed.

"Jet! He told you about the syndicate! Ah shit, I'm sor..." I said and ruffled my hand through my hair.

"Yeah, right! You're not sorry! You don't even know, do you??" she yelled and shoved me. It didn't really do much, but it was all she could muster at this point by the looks of her.

She looked dead tired, physically and emotionally.

"Huh?" I said recollecting myself.

"He's dead, Spike. He died going after you!" she yelled, tears now streaking her face like glittering crystals in the moonlight. She was crying again.

Because of me.

Jet is dead.

Because of me.

Maybe coming back to this life was a bad idea.

All because of me.

I plopped to the ground after staring at her for a few minutes, taking in what she had said while holding my head in my hands. I've never felt so incredibly guilty about someone dying on my behalf, well, except Julia...but still...Jet...

"No no no...why did he...?" I muttered, shaking my head. Faye was now sitting in front of me on this desolate sidewalk in front of the bar.

"Because he loved you. We all did." She said quietly, half-crying.

"Did?" I asked, looking up at her now.

"Right. We all loved you, Spike. I wish that I would have said it someway before. Maybe it all could've been avoided. Maybe I'm just being selfish."

I don't know what to say or do or think. I'm totally lost right now. Maybe it's the alcohol making my head spin around, but I have a sinking feeling that it's not.

Saying sorry won't fix a damn thing. The past...there's nothing I can do, right?

If there is something I can do, it's definitely not coming to mind right now.

She handed me a cigarette and got one out for herself. We sat there in silence, on the sidewalk, and smoked.

What the hell do we do now?

NO. What the hell do _I_ do now?

After smoking, Faye stood up. She brushed herself off and held out her hand. I took it and got up.

"I don't want to intrude, but I don't have anywhere to go. I've used up my I.O.U.'s among old friends." I said sheepishly, bowing my head because I was just so damn afraid to look her in the eyes.

Those piercing emerald eyes. They'd be the death of me right now.

"I don't have an extra bed."

"Oh. I'll just find a..."

"You can sleep on the floor or the couch." She said sternly.

"Thanks." I said and followed her as she headed back to the bar. She walked around to the back and unlocked a door that led to a staircase. So she lives above the bar. How quaint.

She opened the door quietly and motioned for me to be quiet. I looked over into a room to my right and made out through the darkness a fuzzy red head, and a slumbering dog next to it.

She's got Ed and Ein with her. That's good.

She closed the door to Ed's room and made her way to the couch. She tossed some blankets on it and went to her room.

I heard her door close and decided that she probably needed to be alone.


	8. She Really Is A Rainbow

Ok, so if you're still reading, I'd like to tell ya that I changed the setting so that everyone can post a reply. Sorry it took me so long. I really hope that I haven't killed the story for anyone. It just worked out this way in my wacky head, that's all.

* * *

The only thing to do now is sleep. I can't think of anything better to do.  
  
So I walked over to the couch and took off my shoes. I sat and looked around. It's not the biggest place, but at least it's a place. I'm somewhat proud of Faye for it. I haven't found out who she swindled to get it, but there's time for that later.  
  
Now it's time to do what I do best.  
  
My feet hang off of the tiny couch by about a foot. I layed there for what seemed like a year before I actually fell to sleep.

I had a really weird dream. Me and Faye. We were getting married or something.

_Where am I?_

_What?! You don't know? This is your–our wedding! How could you forget?! _

_Oh...I'm sorry. Um...who are you again?_

_Don't tell me you're having another bout of amnesia! How typical! _

_::slap::_

_OW! Why the hell did you slap me?!_

_Maybe it'll knock some sense into you!_

_Well, it didn't! And it hurt like hell! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hurt a woman?_

_My mother never told me anything._

_Well, that's too bad._

_::punch::_

_HEY! Why'd you punch me?!_

_Because you slapped me! _

_Damnit woman!  
_  
I woke up in a cold sweat so suddenly that I almost fell off of the couch.  
  
Good, I didn't wake anybody up. I glanced over to her door. It was cracked open now. She must've gotten up while I was sleeping.  
  
Curiosity killed the cat, or so they say.  
  
I walked to her door and slid my thin fingers through the opening. Slowly and quietly I opened the door wide enough to allow me entrance to her room. I scanned the room until my eyes adjusted to the varying shades of darkness.  
  
I found her sleeping like a baby at the other end of the room in her oversized bed.  
  
I crept over to her bed and sat down softly on the edge. She stirred a little, but quickly regained her unconcious state. The moonlight poured in through her single window, although huge, and cast streaks of silver light all over her slumbering face and body.  
  
So, she's got a new life now. Would it be right for me to barge in now? I can take care of myself, but I feel somewhat obligated to her.  
  
She had to start over again, but this time, because of me.  
  
I crawled into her bed and layed next to her, staring at the back of her head.  
  
Still can't see her eyes. Maybe that's a good thing.  
  
I took a deep breath and her back against my stomach. I wrapped my arm around her stomach and breathed in the smell of her hair. Smelled thick with cigarettes and the smallest hint of perfume. I always thought that's what she smelled like.  
  
She stirred again, but this time awoke.  
  
"Mmmrgh...what the..." she grumbled in a tired whisper.  
  
"Please don't beat me up or anything violent." I said quietly.  
  
"What are you doing? What's wrong with the couch? C'mon, it's..." she leaned away from me and looked at her clock. "It's 5:38. I've got to get up soon. Let me sleep." she whined and put the clock back where it was.  
  
"I'm sorry." I offered.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, you say that, but I know you don't mean it."  
  
"You say that, but you know you're just being careful. You can't possibly believe me because then you'd be betraying some 'Woman Law' or something." I said with a chuckle.  
  
"Whatever." she whispered and rolled over, her back facing me.  
  
"Please don't go back to sleep. I wanna talk to ya. You know, long time no see." I pleaded, a first for me. Well, a first with her at least.  
  
"Seems like I'm not the only one who's changed...well, if you wanna talk that bad..." she said and rolled out of bed. She headed over to her closet and grabbed her little white robe.  
  
She flipped on a small lamp and opened the huge window. The moonlight spilled in, but wasn't as strong as it was before. The sun had started to rise now. The huge window led outside to a small patio which she walked out onto and lit up a cigarette. I rolled off her bed and joined her. She handed me yet another cigarette(geez, now I owe her cigarettes, too) and lit it up for me.  
  
"Thanks." I said between drags.  
  
"Right. So what do you want to talk about so desperately at 6 in the morning?" she asked as she blew a cloud of smoke toward the sky.  
  
"Well...I guess we could start with what happened after I left. Or is that too much to ask right now?" I said.  
  
"I wrote it all down. I don't feel like talking about it all right now, so you can just read that." she said and walked back inside to retrieve it.  
  
She came back out a few minutes later and handed me a small blue book. She opened it to a page almost halfway through the book and said, "There. Start with that." she said.  
  
So I read until I couldn't read anymore.

"You happy?" she said, putting out her cigarette as I finished reading.

I don't know what to say at all.

"Where is he?" I asked quietly as I handed her little blue book back to her.

"On Ganymede. I thought he'd probably want to be buried there." She answered.

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"I have to get Ed up soon. She goes to school now. Wanna help me with breakfast?" Faye asked and headed toward her room again.

"Ed...school?" I sputtered.

"Yeah, it was her idea. She's made a lot of friends. I'm really happy for her."

"Yeah...that's good." I said and put my hands in my pockets as I followed Faye to her kitchen.

"So, here. You start making the eggs and toast so I can wake her up. It takes some effort that I must discover before I get to her room." She said with a smile that made me smile.

Problem: I suck at cooking. I know I complained about Jet's food, but I can't even boil water right.

So I have to make it look like I know what I'm doing before she gets back and sees that I'm a complete waste of space.

How the hell am I ever going to repay her for all the trouble I put her through...?

And more importantly, why the hell do I feel the need to so something nice for Faye now? We were barely civil with each other before...but that was because I had my Julia on the brain like a bad fever.

She's gone too, though.

I know that Julia's gone. I know that was pretty much my fault. I can't do anything for her, like I told Jet before I left to take out Vicious once and for all(which was—his reason for wanting to kill me—pretty much my fault as well).

So, here I am. A year later, and standing in Faye Valentine's kitchen at six in the morning, attempting to cook breakfast for her, Ed, and myself.

You always think of the most important things when you shouldn't be thinking at all. In fact, when you should be sleeping.

I chuckled softly at that thought and picked up an egg from the carton sitting on the counter. I've done this plenty of times when I was hungover, so why is it different now?

I cracked the egg on the side of the small brown bowl. It has a little flower in the bottom of it. Weird how domestic it seems. Weird how it belongs to Faye, the most undomestic of all women I have met.

But, wait...she isn't the same Faye anymore. I keep forgetting that she got her memory back. It must have changed her, because she doesn't want something from me for staying here yet.

Maybe she's just waiting to hit me with a bill.

All of a sudden, I felt a warm mass attach itself to my legs. Not just one, but both, so I couldn't really move. Wobbling was about the best I could manage at this point.

"You're back!" the mass squeaked and squeezed tigher yet.

Yeah, I'm back...and there goes the egg...onto her head.

"Ohh! Ed's hair! Not nice, Spike-person! Not nice at all." she yelped as she rolled away. Ein came up to me next, and looked at me like he knew I'd be back.

"Oh Ed, go wash that out quick! I gotta get you to school!" Faye said as she walked back into the kitchen.

"So yeah...it was a no-go on the eggs." I said with a "Please Forgive Me" shrug of my shoulders with an especially thick puppy dog smile and eyes.

"Spike?"

"Yeah?" I said expecting the old Faye to resurface any time now.

"Can you go help Ed get ready? I don't want her to be late." She said as she began to salvage breakfast.

"Um, yeah, sure." I said and headed after Ed.

I turned a corner and found Ed, with her head under a sink and her hands running through her hair feverishly.

"Sorry 'bout that, Ed." I said.

"Oh, it's ok. I'm just glad to see ya Spike-person." She said and removed her head from under the faucet and wrapped her hair up in a towel. "Faye-Faye showed me how to put the towel on my head. It's neat." She said and smiled at me.

Ed hasn't changed too much. She's just growing up now, that's all.

A few minutes later, Faye had breakfast ready and waiting for all of us. She can cook? Hope it's edible...

When we finished eating, which was edible by the way, Faye took Ed to school. I sat on her patio and smoked.

Thinking again, of course.

What am I going to do about all of this? I know that when she comes back, she'll want to know if I'm going to be staying again tonight or not. So it's coming down to the decision on my part.

I have to make up my mind. I can't just let things go. People are dead because of me. If we were talking about regular people who I really didn't know, then I'd have no problems. But the people who are dead are people that I lived with and cared for.

Even though I was a bastard and never showed it when we were all together still.

Ok, so the last year and a half has given me the time to think about myself. I lived after I went after Vicious, but barely. I think I was actually dead for a couple of minutes...but they brought me back of course. Seems slightly unfair that I'm alive and so many others died because of me. Jet, Vicious...Julia.

Julia.

A dream within a dream that I couldn't wake up from. She would want me to move on...at least I think she would have wanted it that way.

But what the hell am I going to do?? Faye's put up her bounty huntin' boots for a more "normal" life. What, am I going to work at a "normal" job? I just can't see myself becoming so...domesticated.

Sorry Faye, but I can't stay here. Not now.

Wait a sec...I was so ready to run away and live somewhere with Julia to get away from everyone. But Julia was...and I loved her...

Loved?

And at that precise moment, she walked in and joined me on the patio.

"Whatcha thinking about, Mr. Serious?" she asked playfully noting my face.

"Um, stuff." I said and shook my head to try and shake these thoughts from my cluttered head.

"Stuff, huh? Sounds exhilirating." She said and tossed me a pack of cigarettes. "Here, I picked some up for you since I noticed you don't have any of your own." She said and plucked one out for herself.

"Thanks and all, but why are you being so nice to me?" I asked bluntly.

"Because it's easier than being mean?" she questioned herself as well as me.

"Well, yeah, but before I 'died,' we weren't exactly on the greatest terms." I said.

"Yeah, that's true. But like you say 'The past is the past' and all that." She said lighting her cigarette.

"Gotcha." I said and lit one for myself.

We sat there in silence until Faye said, "I really missed you."

I looked over at her and smiled, "I don't think I can say the same."

Her cautious smile dropped like a ton of bricks and she now looked like the old Faye.

"You've changed so much that I don't know who you are to have missed you, Faye." I said in redemption with a grin.

"Oh." She said and returned to Happy Faye.

She laughed a little and said, "You haven't changed _that_ much, after all Spike."

"Guess not."

We both laughed as we watched the sun rise over her patio.


	9. Silently Sleeping

You don't have to go.

I replayed the words in my head over and over again.

I don't want him to go. Not again. Never again.

If it weren't so early in the morning still, I'd break out some hard liqour and start the "Welcome Back" party. I think I'm just looking for an excuse to get trashed so I don't have to keep reminding myself that Spike is here.

It's not that I don't want him around, it's just that his simple presence is starting to unnerve my fragile balance of emotions. I just keep lighting up cigarette after cigarette to keep quiet and somewhat calm.

My head is getting so fuzzy.

He leaned back in the white metal chair only a few away from mine and stretched his arms up over his head while he scanned the horizon. The new day's sun is still creeping up slowly.

So quiet.

A wind rushed gently between us with the best of intentions, but it made me anxious. I felt like it was separating us more than the few feet that was already doing that job. I felt an urge deep within me to reach out and grab onto his arm and pull him closer to me.

Close the gap. Fill in a hole. Sew up a wound.

A song popped into my head out of the fuzzy feeling that continues to expand. It happens frequently now that I remember everything. I used to be so obsessed with music before the accident.

_Take this man to your bed_

_Maybe his hands will help you forget_

_Please be stronger than your past_

_The future may still give you a chance_

I smile at the different meaning the song has for me in the present.

He wonders why I'm not acting like I used to. I know he wonders. He never asks though. Like it's some "Man Rule" that he can't possibly break. Maybe it's a "Spike Rule" he can't possibly break, because showing interest in a woman's life means all too much to her and nothing at all to him.

At least that's what my memories tell me. Strange to think how incredibly different I was then.

So innocent still. Wish I could go back sometimes. A lot of the time.

My current thinking about Spike slowly takes me into a memory. Getting all of your memory back is like a bad headache that won't go away for long. It's still hurts. A dull pain at the base of your head and wraps its way around to your eyes.

* * *

I hurried into my room and threw myself onto my soft bed. I layed there, face down and let my cold, shaking hands wander for anything to grab.

Found a pillow. Grabbed said pillow and pulled it to my side, when I rolled onto my side and clutched the pillow to my stomach. I wrapped both arms around the pillow and curled into the fetal position.

I let out a stifled cry and felt a single hot tear slide out from the corner of my eye onto my bed.

"Why does this always happen?" I moaned out and rolled onto my stomach, now stuffing my face into a new pillow, letting hot tears soak its silky fabric.

The phone in my room rang.

I threw one of my pillows at it and knocked the phone off of the hook, sending it tumbling loudly to the carpet.

A minute or two later there was a knock at my door and a worried woman on the other side.

"Faye? Are you okay in there? I heard a crash." She questioned. Her voice was so full of compassion that it would make you sick.

"I'm fine mom...go away." I said with a horse voice from crying.

"I don't believe you, but I'll let you be. I'll be downstairs if you need me." She said. I heard her footsteps fade away. When I knew she wasn't there anymore, I slumped out of my bed and crawled over to the phone.

I picked up the receiver and returned it to the cradle where it belonged.

A bird sung outside my window, breaking the silence of my room. I made my way to my big bay window and looked around for the bird.

"Sing a song for me, please. I need to be happy again." I asked the bird as if it could a) hear me, and b) understand me.

The phone rang again. This time I walked over to it. No violence this time. I slowly and cautiously picked up the phone, like in those horror movies where the character is awaiting a call from the killer and answers it in such a way that you think they're about to die.

"H-Hello?" I stammered.

"Faye?"

"Yes?"

"Faye??"

"What??" I said impatiently, and then realized that Spike was calling my name. "Oh sorry. I was lost in a thought." I said with a half-smile and shook off the memory.

"I'm not sure if I want to pick up bounty hunting again or not. You know, find something with a steady paycheck where I can actually eat real food." He said.

So what? What is he saying? I can't really hear him. My head is such a dull mess right now that I'm not picking things up clearly.

"Faye? What's wrong? You're freaking me out." He said, stood up and walked over to me. "I think it's time you stopped with the chain smoking for a couple hours." He said with his oh-so-flirtatious smile as if by joking around, I'd come back to normal.

"Need to...need...lie down." I mumbled.

"Faye?! What's going on??" he said with a shock in his voice at my sudden change in demeanor.

Ok, so I failed to mention that with my memories back my brain has sort of, "crashed" a few times. It's just like when you run too many things at once on a clogged up computer. Well, when I remember something that made me especially emotional in the past, whether it be sadness or anger or fear, my head pretty much overloads.

It's only happened twice before. Poor Ed. She took care of me when it happened then. She's actually a lot more helpful than we gave her credit for.

Now Spike is seeing it happen first hand. I'm sure that his reappearance expedited the process of this crash, but I don't really have the capacity to think about it right now.

I just stopped trying to hold it back and let it take over me. My head blanked. Wiped clean like a white board. I can see what's going on around me, but I can't react or respond to Spike. Like a stroke or something.

Poor Spike.

He's picking me up and carrying me into my room now. Gently, he laying me down on my bed. His face is pale and it makes it look skinnier. Now he's hunched over me, staring right into my eyes. I can see his eyes so clearly. They really are two-toned.

Doesn't matter.

Nothing's perfect, you know.

His large palm cups my cheek and he stares right through me. Like he's looking for any trace of me inside my eyes. Don't think he's gonna find it yet.

I can see his mouth moving, but now I can't hear him. I wish I could just hear his smooth voice.

He's trying to talk to me. I feel so numb.

Then he frantically looks around and rushes all around me. I can't tell what's going on anymore...and then darkness.

* * *

"You really did it this time, Faye." Jet said as I walked back in to where he was sitting.

Of course he meant my reaction to Spike's leaving.

"I don't want to hear it Jet!" I shouted through a storm of tears and stormed off to my dank room.

It was so dark, but I wanted nothing else right now. A moment later I heard the roar of the Swordfish and I rolled over, clutching my hands over my ears.

The sound was so loud this time, and it bothered me more than ever. The scream of his ship, leaving us for the last time.

And then it was silent. Really cold, too. The metal of the ship all around me breathed its last breath, so to speak. It lost any character it once had and was eerily cold now.

A fuzzyness grew from the base of my head and seeped into every part of me. I lost any strength I had left and lied there motionless while innumerable memories swept through me.

I remembered a verse from a song that my mother used to sing that had struck me down the hardest in my already weakened state:

_All too soon_

_We had to part_

_The moment you had touched my heart_

_And with you went my dream_

_All too soon_

I don't know how long I layed there. I couldn't move. I was totally helpless. I couldn't even call for Jet or Ed or even Ein to come help me.

Even though I still didn't know that Ed and Ein were gone. I would have gladly welcomed their help then.

That was the first time it happened. A mess of dream-like memories that I couldn't stop or control at all. Like waves, they hit me and broke me down, one by one. All I know is that when I did get up, Jet was leaving.

* * *

"Faye?"

::silence::

"Please Faye, get up now..." ::sniffle:: "I don't know what to do; you've got to wake up and tell me."

::sniffle::

::silence::

* * *

Another memory splashed against me now. Swimming. Drowning. Another song.

_I'll wake up before I drown_

Oh, I've had this one before. It's not a good one.

Great, now my bad memories are starting to repeat.

It's my last memory before the present.

"She's not doing good." Said a man.

"Well, fix that. She has to do good." Said another man...my father...he's a doctor.

"Sir, there's nothing..." the first man started to say.

"DON'T TELL ME THAT! She's my daughter! She's going to live!" he shouted and shoved the man aside.

"Faye? Can you hear me sweetie??" he said, now looking at me.

I must've moved or something, because he smiled.

"We're going to have to put you..." he started to say when everything went black. All the pain stopped and I felt better instantly.

The last thing I saw were his eyes. His soft brown eyes. They were so sad and scared.

Then I realized I was all alone.

* * *

I sat straight up in my bed, almost knocking Spike down. I was breathing so heavy that I felt like I just ran a marathon. I did, kinda..."A marathon of the mind."

I feel so damn weak. I don't need or want him to see me like this. It's like letting him win.

But his face tells me that I am wrong.

"What...are you--are you ok?" he sputtered out at me.

"I'll be fine." I said hoarsely.

"No, no...you're gonna tell me what the hell that was, Faye." He said, the color returning to his face and his eyes regaining their resolve.

"It happens now. It's ok...I'll figure it out." I said and started to get up.

"Sit down. That isn't normal. You don't need to 'figure' it out, you need to find out what the hell it is and let someone else fix it." He said with all seriousness while forcibly sitting me back down on my bed.

I tried to shrug off what he was telling me, but he won't let me. His hands are firmly attached to my shoulders and aren't letting me budge. I just want to get dressed. I get a glimpse at the time and shout, "Shit! Ed! I have to pick her up! It's been that long??"

"You were out for the whole day, Faye. I took the liberty of telling your boss downstairs that you won't be at work, and I even picked up Ed." He said and sat down next to me.

"Wh--why'd you do that?" I asked, letting the rush of lateness ease out of me now.

"You were kind of incapacitated." He said with that damn smile. Stupid smile...it always wins.

I hate it and love it at the same damn time.

I got up freely now and went to my closet, leaving him there. I grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom to change.

A few minutes later, I came out of the bathroom and he was still sitting in the same spot.

"So, you want to tell me what happened yet or what?" he asked with the most patience I've ever heard from him.

"I told you. It happens. I kind of overload and black out."

"That makes no sense."

"Well, I'm sorry if I can't pass out more realistically for you." I said with a huff.

"Ahh...so you aren't gone." He said with that same smile.

"What are you talking about?" I replied impatiently.

"I thought you were a totally new Faye...but I was wrong." He said and stood up.

"You jackass!" I said and stomped on his foot.

"Once again, 'ow' and you've slayed me." He said with a chuckle. "C'mon Faye, I bet you're hungry."

"What's with you trying to take care of me all of a sudden??" I shouted out as he walked out of my room. He stopped at the frame of my door and looked back over his shoulder.

"Because I owe you."

* * *

Song 1: Cowboys and Angels - George Michael; Song 2: All Too Soon - Ella Fitzgerald; Song 3: English Fire - Bush...don't own them, just love them :P


	10. Angel From My Nightmare

So, this being my first fanfic and all, I'm kinda squeamish about being uber-lemony. I don't even know how good I can even write like that, so here goes nothing. This is what I like to call the experimental chapter. Ahh, enough teasing and more getting into it...Thanks for all the reviews so far. They really encourage me to get the next chapter up sooner for you.

* * *

"Owe me what?" I asked as I followed behind him into the kitchen.

I watched as he scanned the kitchen, hands in his pockets. He began to whistle.

The man is totally lost.

"Hey Faye?" he said and turned to face me.

"Yeah?"

"Where's the cereal?" he asked through his trademark smile, melting away any frustration I had from him acting...well, like Spike.

He seems to be pulling that smile out more and more. Like a secret weapon.

"You know, you should really look before you give up. I don't want cereal, anyway." I said and made my way past him to the coffee pot.

"Isn't it kind of late for coffee?" he asked, now leaning against the counter, arms crossed, his head down.

"Never too late." I said and was soon distracted by Ed.

"Ed wants to go a-swimming!" she said a plopped down on the floor.

"Maybe another day, ok?" I said as I grabbed the coffee pot.

"Swimming, huh?" Spike grinned, and as if by magic his head popped back up.

"Spike-person, will you take me swimming?" Ed asked, turning away from me and tugging on Spike's jacket.

"Only if Faye will go." He said, looking at me with the smoothest glance he's thrown at me so far.

"Um, Faye-Faye isn't in the mood to go swimming." I said in Ed language while glaring at Spike for pushing the subject.

"C'mon Faye, it sounds like fun. It might make you feel a little better." He said with a grin that I want to just utterly annihlate.

"A little." I said through clenched teeth. I hate getting dragged into things. Especially by these two mop headed clowns.

It's almost like we're back on the Bebop and all is well.

It's almost like back in high school when my friends would force me to talk to the cute boy. Ok, so I have to admit: I really do enjoy remembering my "past life." And I especially love that it makes my Bebop days seem so scandalous. My life was sadly boring before I came to be known as Faye Valentine...It's so weird to think I was ever the typical teenage girl.

The memory made me smile, and I put the coffee pot down. Spike's staring at me. Ah crap, he must've noticed me dazing off there. I shake my head and return my attention to the bouncing redhead in front of me.

"Oh noes! Spike-person doesn't have a bathing suit!" Ed sad with a frown, as if all her dreams had just crashed down upon her head.

"I'm sure we can stop by a store on the way to this pool, right?" he asked me.

"Sure." I said and went toward my room. "Spike, make she gets ready. We are not staying there all night." I said with a glare at Ed and shut my door.

I got my bikini on and grabbed an oversized button-up shirt to cover up until we got to the pool. My head is still kind of fuzzy from my little episode, but I should be okay to do this.

I still don't want to go. If it'll shut these two up, then my night will be quiet. Hopefully. At least I got the night off of work, but only thanks to my meltdown.

And thanks to Spike.

I walked out to see Ed bouncing around with Ein in tow while Spike stood there, waiting.

"Let's get this over with." I said and led the motley group out of the apartment. We stopped at a store and Spike bought a plain black pair of swimming trunks. How like him to buy the plainest thing in the store. Meh, it suits him.

We walked a few more blocks to the public pool and entered. We were the only ones there. I guess swimming in the early evening isn't too popular around these parts of Mars. It made Ed really happy. She climbed up one of the diving boards and was in the pool before Spike and I had even set our stuff down.

I entered the pool on the opposite end of Ed's diving board antics. Spike escaped to the bathroom to change and Ein sat at the corner of the pool near me to avoid being dragged into the pool by Ed. I moved over from the steps to the corner with Ein and stretched my arms out on the walls to support me so I could let my feet float a little.

All of a sudden, and I really should have seen this coming a mile away, Spike lept over my head with his long legs pinned close to him and jumped into the pool. Considering how damn skinny he is, he sure makes a big splash.

"Agh!" I screamed and flailed around, trying to smack him for getting me wet.

He popped up behind me and wrapped his lanky arms around my waist, overpowering me instantly. "Don't fight it Faye, you know you can't win." He said as I squirmed against his chest. _How muscular the annoying man is_ is the only thing that pops up into my head as I fight him. This is so annoying. I open my mouth before I think about what comes out.

"You just want to touch me, that's all. Don't fight it Spike, you know you can't resist." I said angrily, still fighting to free myself from him.

And with that, I felt his arms move from my waist to the top of my head and push me underwater. I resurfaced and he was laughing at me now. Anger rising...

From the other end of the pool I heard Ed inbetween dives, "Oh no! Spike-person's gonna get it!"

Damn straight he is. I made my way over to the chuckling Spike and punched him in the arm.

"Please don't kill me Faye!" He said, still laughing.

Kill him?

All the anger I had for him suddenly vanished when I came to the realization, yet again, that this was Spike. And he was still alive. I just stared at him for a long minute and got lost in the thought of hurting him.

"Faye?" he said, all laughing ceased now. "Is it happening again? Faye?" he said with a hint of worry in his voice.

I shook my head and came back to reality, "No, I'm ok."

"Good." He said and picked me up, lifted me out of the water, and tossed me a few feet away. If he keeps this up my damn bikini is going to become misplaced, and then I'll be really pissed.

I came to the surface and moved the hair out of my eyes. Just as I was clearing my eyes, the green haired monster came back for more. I don't even have time to react when he does the same thing again.

This time, I try to swim away to see if he'll leave me alone. No such luck. I open my eyes to see a dark green blur in front of me. Why is he tormenting me like this?

Well, it's better than no Spike at all. All the thoughts in my head stop, except for the one scary thought: Spike's not dead. He should be dead, but he's not. What the hell are you gonna do about it now, Faye?

Is it possible to cry underwater? I don't know, but I do know that the thought of no Spike brought on a wave of emotion that was bigger than any of the waves Ed was creating at the other end of the pool.

I feel so damn scared right now. Just the thought of him leaving again—dying again—breaks me down. And it breaks me down _fast_. I stop listening to reason and go with my gut. I should've listened to it from the minute I found out that he was alive.

Shit, I should've listened to my gut when he was about to leave. It wouldn't have done me any good, but I could've tried a little harder.

I reach out to him and grab onto his side, and once I have a good grip on it, I grab the other side. He might be skinny, but he is definitely muscular. I don't have much time left before I need air, so I pull him down to me and go for it. I meet his mis-matched eyes and look at them for a few seconds. He met my stare, but didn't move.

Everything is so quiet underwater.

I closed my eyes and kissed him. It isn't as sexy as it sounds. You can't really feel much passion when you kiss someone underwater...it's too slippery. But I wasn't thinking about that when I did it.

I don't even know if my feelings at the moment are mutual. I don't care at this point. The feelings that washed over me when I imagined him gone again were just so powerful.

Before I knew it, we had surfaced. I know I didn't do it, so it must've been Spike. I open my eyes and wipe the water from them so I could see better. Spike's still in front of me, looking down at me. No facial expression whatsoever. Not even that sexy-annoying smile.

And now I feel completely retarded. It's like when I tried to keep him from leaving the Bebop all over again. I blink hard and look away from him. Time to come up with a distraction from my red face.

"Ed! Time to get out! You don't want to turn into a prune!" I shouted to the hyper redhaired girl doing acrobatics at the other end of the pool. Spike was already heading out of the pool.

Great. I really did it this time. At least he could've cracked a joke or been mean...that would be better than this silence. I feel so damn stupid.

By the time we got Ed out of the pool and made it back home, it was night. The walk back was eerily quiet, except for Ed.

I got Ed in bed and made my way to my room to shower before I went to bed. I passed through the living room and saw Spike already passed out on the couch. Just wonderful.

I walk in my room and quietly close the door. A memory started to make its way into my thoughts as I leaned up against the closed door.

"H-Hello?" I stammered.

"Faye?" a quiet boy said over the receiver.

"What do you want?" I said, still sniffling.

"Just thought I'd apologize..." he started to say when I cut him off.

"No! No need for you to be sorry! I'm the only one who should be apologizing!" I shouted.

"...For what, Faye?"

"For ever meeting you! You're the most horrible guy I've ever met!"

"What?!" he pleaded.

"Because you hurt me just like all the others! No, you hurt me physically...so I guess that it's better to say that you hurt me the most!" I cried out, now collapsing to the ground on my knees.

I gasped and recollected my thoughts, "I don't want to hear from you again! Just leave me alone!" I screamed and hung up the phone with a heavy slam. I felt the hot tears come back again and watched as they fell from my cheek onto the floor. I put a cool hand up against my face, which was still hot from earlier.

Open yourself up, and you open yourself up to total destruction of the heart. Something the Old Faye hadn't learned yet. A vital lesson that I figured out _very_ quickly after waking up in this life.

I touched my face gingerly as if it still stung from all those years ago.

I _thought_ I'd learned that lesson. I guess not, after this evening's events.

I just want to forget it. Nothing I can do about it now.

Mmm...hot shower...that sounds so good right now. I head to the bathroom and start the shower and peel the wet bikini off. I step into the shower and let the hot water run all over my head. The hot water divides my hair into dripping strands. Steam escapes over the top of the shower, I slowly close my eyes and lean against the back wall of the shower.

Kissing Spike runs through my head a thousand times and then I open I my eyes to try and clear it from my thoughts.

No such luck: Spike is standing in front me now. Shit, he's sneaky. I didn't even hear him get in the shower.

"What are you..." I start to say when he placed the tips of his fingers on my mouth, instantly silencing me.

"Shhh...don't want to wake up Ed." He said and leaned his face down to mine. "Sorry." He whispered and brushed his lips against mine. He closed his eyes and exhaled. His breath smelled like wet cigarettes; I guess the humidity from the shower makes everything smell wet.

Now usually, I would have had a fit already. Just knowing that he wants in the bathroom to cut into my shower time would've sent me over the edge into childishness on the Bebop, but I'm not in the mood for that. And this isn't the Bebop.

Not now. Never again.

He stares into my eyes. At least this time I can respond to him. I lift my hand to his lowered face and move a mop of wet locks out of his eyes. He suddenly wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in close. Really close. I can feel all the muscles of his stomach and chest against me.

The shower drowns out the sound of anything. All I can hear is the hissing of the shower and my heartbeat ringing in my ears. Is this really happening? It must be a dream...this would never happen to me.

"No more dreams." He whispered and leaned back down to my face. A cold chill ran down my spine when he spoke, and then he held my face with his hands and kissed me with such emotion that I felt like I could die from it all. So much passion, feeling, and emotion wrapped up in his lips. And so much warmth.

I almost feel like I'm in a soap opera, with how dramatic it all is.

I broke away from his lips and stared at him. His expression screams at me for breaking the kiss. His eyes search mine for an explanation. He's so exposed right now. He must know...he always knows.

I don't want to question it. I don't want to be a typical woman and ruin this perfect moment. For right now, I don't care why he's doing this. I just want to give in and relish in the fact that he's alive and in my shower with me. There's time for talking later.

I give in to my thoughts and lunge up at his lips. They're so warm and soft, and his body...is just perfect. He kisses me back with the same intensity I gave him. It became a tug and war between us. I pushed against him, and he pushed harder back against me. I slide my arms up and around his neck and I feel his arms slip around my waist. The water makes everything so slippery.

More steam rolls over the top of the shower from our combined body heat. Then the shower head blasts us with icy cold water.

"Agh!" he moans into my mouth and breaks away from me for shelter from the shower.

I reach over to the knobs and turn it off. So there we are, cold and hot at the same time, standing naked in my freaking shower.

Spike looks over at me from his new niche in the shower and smiles. The sexy smile. It's not annoying right now; it's everything I want. He must have read that from my face because then he lifts me up like I'm a feather and carries me into my room to the bed. There, he gently places me on it and stands in front of me for a minute.

I'm so cold sitting here, being stared at. I look up at him and play on with the staring thing. His hair is dripping all over his body, leaving little trails of water everywhere. I follow a droplet with my eyes from his shoulder all the way to his belly button, where it disappears into his belly button abyss. I reach out and stop a second droplet from following suit, when I feel him shudder from my light touch.

I want to know what he's thinking. He's just staring down at me. It's kind of scary not knowing what he's thinking right now. He grabs my wrist of the hand that's touching his stomach, as if to say "Don't do that."

The staring contest continues and he drops my wrist. He proceeds to crawl over me, laying me down at the same time, and looks down into my face. He pins my wrists on the sides of my head and slides his hands to mine, intertwining his fingers with mine. His face is soft and his eyes look so huge. Like pools of warm cinnamon. Well, like one pool of cinnamon and one of chocolate. Kind of makes me hungry.

I lick my lips at the thought of chocolate, which makes Spike smile.

He leans down a little more and kisses me again. After which, he looks back at me, as if he's asking for permission.

I shake my thoughts of food away and return to him. Time to break up the stare fest. I pull him down on top of me and slide out from under him, rolling him on his back and positioning myself over him. He grunted a little, but I think my take-over went well with him.

"Faye?" he whispered throatily.

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to leave." He practically moaned out.

"I can tell." I said with a smirk, looking down at him, visibly excited now.

He cupped my cheek in the palm of his hand again and leaned up toward me, propping himself up on his elbow. "No. I _really_ don't want to leave." He breathed out in a half-whisper.

So, wait. He _does_ like me after all? This isn't some pity thing?

"I don't want you to leave, either. Ever again." I said quietly and collapsed into his warm chest. His arms wrapped around my body and he held me. Then he rolled me back over and kissed me again.

"Fine. I'll stay. Forever." He whispered into my ear, each word said so delicately, and then kissed my neck. The details aren't even important right now. Just hearing him say that was enough for me to sign away my soul to the devil if it meant staying like this with him. I can't hear anything else but the blood rushing in my ears as I feel him kiss me more. He starts to move all over. Kissing my neck, my shoulder, my collarbone, my arm, and everywhere I don't give a second thought to normally. Each little kiss was like a shot, a shot filled with passion. I could feel it touch my skin and soak into me. When one started to fade, it was replaced with five more.

As he kissed me more, my thoughts started to wander. I tried to bring myself back to him, but I felt the damn fuzz start to spread at the base of my skull. Not now...please go away...just let me have this...

"Spike," I breathed out in a panic to the man who was taking in every last inch of my body with his lips at the moment. He stopped and looked up at me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, breathing heavily.

"I'm...fading again...I'm so...so sorry..." I panted.

"No...Hold on Faye, please don't..." he said in a half moan-half whisper and sat me up.

"I can't stop it..." I whispered. "I'm sorry...please don't...go away..."

"I'll never leave." He said as he held me up by my shoulders. That was the last thing I heard because then everything went black again.

A new memory flooded into my head this time. It came to me slowly.

"You're so nice to me..." I said to him softly.

"Because you're a nice girl." He said and smiled back at me. "And nice, pretty girls like you deserve only the best."

We continued to walk up the hill toward the sunset. He was different from the other guys who I usually was seen with.

"Here's my car. I'll take you home." He said, opening the passenger door for me. A moment later he was in the car, and we were heading down the street to my house.

It was starting to get dark now. He flicked on his lights. Oops, he turned down the wrong street...

"You made the wrong turn, Matt." I said to him, looking back at the road we _should_ have stayed on. He didn't say anything, but turned up his radio. I don't like where this is going.

He pulls off into a deserted lot. I can feel an icy javelin plunge into my stomach accompanying the thoughts of where this heading. Damnit...this is pissing me off. No reason to be afraid, no, not anymore. I'm taking care of this right here and now.

He locks the doors with the flick of a finger and turns off his car. He doesn't even talk, just stares at me with stupid eyes. They're filled with the ugliest look of desperation and lust. I hate his eyes. I want to tear them out and burn them. Just seeing him stare at me like that sends me over the edge. I'm sick of this happening. I snapped.

His breathing becomes more labored, and he wets his lips, still staring at me. "C'mere." He drooled out.

"How about you let me out and we call it even?" I said, my anger heating up my face. I felt heat run through all of my body. It felt like it was coursing through my bloodstream. I can't see anything but his stupid eyes and the color of crimson red.

His hands came out of nowhere and wrapped around my throat. My anger subsided momentarily, because now I'm just in shock. Ok, so plenty of guys have tried to make a move on me like this, but none have resorted to this. Now I'm scared.

"You can't leave. I have to have you first...then you can leave." He said like a neanderthal. My hands claw at his hands, firmly wrapped around my throat. I gasp for air and beat on his face with any strength I can gather. His grip loosens and I stare at him, gasping for air. I can't speak just yet, all I can do is stare at him. He sits there and starts to unzip his pants. I reach for the lock, but I can't unlock it. He must have that damn childproof shit on it.

"I told you, you're not going anywhere, Faye." He hissed and slapped me.

I've caught my breath, but now I have to deal with the slap across the face. I'm not shocked anymore, but the anger is back.

"You asshole!" I screamed and planted my tiny fist on his nose. He stopped fidgeting in his pants and grabbed his face. While he was distracted with that, I grabbed a heavy duty flashlight off of his backseat. I smacked him upside the head with it, knocking him unconcious, and then leaned over and unlocked the doors.

I tore out of his car and ran down the street, crying vehemently. It started to rain out of nowhere. Great, so now I'm running home in the dark, and it's raining now. I see a payphone and run to it for shelter. I dig in my wallet for change and call one of my friends. I can stay with her tonight and go home tomorrow morning. I'm not in the mood to be at home right now. After I call her, I make a call home and tell my mom that I'll be out that night.

I leave the booth and walk to my friend's house in the rain.

My eyes open, and I have to blink for a minute to adjust my eyes. I'm in my bed, under all my sheets and wait...yes, I'm wearing Spike's yellow shirt, I figure as I pull my arm up from under the sheets. But where's Spike?

I sit myself up slowly and look around for him. He's not in this room, that's for sure. I glance over to the window and see that it's cracked open partially. I can smell cigarette smoke drifting in my room from the patio, and I know that he's outside. I roll out of my bed slowly and make my way to the window, sliding it open more to let me out.

"Faye, you should go back in and lay down. I made some calls while you were out." He said, staring off into the distance.

"What? Who...?" I stuttered.

"Doctors, you know, people that can _help_." He said, putting out his cigarette. He turned to me, still standing in the window.

"But it's nothing...I mean, it's just my memories coming back still. That's all." I pleaded with him.

"That may be, but it's more than just your memories, Faye." He said.

"What the hell do you know that you're not telling me?!" I shouted.

"Just go lay back down. You need your rest."

"Not until you tell me what it is, Spike!" I said, tears welling up in my eyes. Just thinking that something might be seriously wrong with me isn't comforting in the least.

Especially not after last night. Wait, what time is it? Can I even call it last night anymore??

"Listen, Faye. I'm going to make everything better, just go lay down." He said with a serious tone I'd never heard from him before. It reverberated in my head and I nodded at him.

I walked back into my room and crawled back into bed. I don't know how long I layed there before I got sleepy again, but as my head was packing up shop, I felt a warm presence next to me and it breathed into my ear, "If you want to finish what we started, you'll have to trust me." And with that, I felt a smile creep across my face and I fell to sleep.


	11. My Secret Sunshine

Ok, so that last chapter turned out better than I thought it would. I'm kinda proud of it...Hopefully you'll like it too. Pfft, why am I talking about the last chapter when I'm giving you the next one? Hmm. Weird. Read on. Once again, thank you all for the reviews.

* * *

When she told me on the Bebop that her memories had come back, I was leaving. I basically said to her that the memories of her past meant absolutely nothing to me. And at that time, they honestly didn't. I won't lie. I didn't give a damn about anything at all, with the exception of hunting down Vicious and finding out my life really was just a dream once and for all. My Julia was dead and Vicious was not my dream, but my nightmare after she closed her beautiful blue eyes.

And now Faye's memories are really hurting her. I don't know exactly why, but I feel a little guilty for not caring back then. Not much, but a little guilt is enough to do damage to my ego.

It's not how she smells. It'd be so damn cliché of me to say that.

It's not her silky smooth skin. Once again, cliché.

It's not her deep jade and deeply jaded eyes that give her that youthful appearance, yet age her beyond numbers. Cliché.

So what is it that makes me want to be a better person to her? Before I didn't give a damn about changing for Faye Valentine. Pfft...the idea never even crossed my mind. She was a greedy, conniving wench that I couldn't stand for more time than I had to. Once in a while, she wouldn't be too bad to be around, but that was probably because I was sleeping or drunk or something. Just being in her presence now fills me with such a feeling that I can't shake it off as obligation. What is it now that makes me want to simply be around her?

I feel a cool draft roll across my naked back and look over to see the window still open. I released myself from her, got up, put on my pants, and walked over to it. She moaned out quietly and made me smile; it was just so damn cute...so unlike my memories of her.

Sure, she's changed. I think I'd change too if I were an amnesiac and then "BAM!" all my memories came back to me. I've got so much to learn.

The sun is rising slowly over this sleepy Mars village now, and it's creeping warmth beckons me out to the patio. I've always wanted to wake up with the sunrise every morning after being in space so long, but being awake for it already is good enough.

I grabbed a cigarette and sat down. I was dead tired after staying up all night to watch over her. I refused to let myself fall asleep. I dug around her apartment and found that she kept Jet's computer from the Bebop. I started to wonder what else she kept when I saw a bonsai tree sitting on the windowsill in Ed's room. I smiled and turned back to the computer.

With a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, I looked into the cryo lab that she supposedly woke up in. It took some finessing to find the damn place online, but after living with Ed on the Bebop, I was starting to feel kind of Radical myself.

I found her records(and the grand total on her debt, which wasn't really that surprising to me after all the times that I've witnessed her gambling habits) fast enough and started scrolling through her known medical history. There wasn't that much detailed information because it said that a good portion was lost due to the gate accident. But, if the timeline is right, the gate accident was what caused her to be put into cold sleep. So why would her medical records be missing after that? I'll have to get some more help from Ed later on.

I hadn't even been born yet when that happened. I always heard stories about it from my grandfather and later from guys I knew in the syndicate. I felt pretty knowledgeable about it, but that doesn't mean I know everything. I wasn't there when it happened.

And that reminds me of the horrifying fact that Faye _was_ there.

There was always room for something to be covered up. Maybe she might remember something...I'll have to remember to ask her later on when she's doing better.

From there I found some slightly related info and tried to cover the leads as best as I could without actually leaving the apartment. I didn't get very far, but I did get ahold of one doctor that made me hopeful, and even more skeptical about the whole thing. It really stunk of a huge cover up, by who and why? I couldn't think of anything logical. It didn't help that I was exhausted and starving, either.

Faye's only going to get worse before she gets any better. If she gets better.

I don't know if I can bear to lose another woman in my lifetime.

I've realized very quickly that I can't let her go now. There's so much I need to talk to her about.

It will just have to wait until she wakes up. She needs her rest, and I'll be damned if I wake up to talk about this after last night.

I wish that **anyone** else could tell her. I can't stand the thought of being the one who breaks this all to her. If what that doctor told me is true, that is.

I looked at the time. It's 7:32 now. Good thing it's a Saturday, because I don't want to leave Faye to haul Ed to school. My stomach launches an all-out assault and gurgles at me to give it something to eat. It's really got a mind of its own. I shut down the computer and make my way to the kitchen.

Damn I hate cooking. Jet was the one who always did this, so I got lazy and pretty much lost any cooking skills I might've had. I could always mix up a mean drink, but when it came to actually preparing food, forget it. Well, there were those kebabs...Just the thought of that experience sent a frigid chill down my spine.

As I was rummaging through the cabinets for anything I could eat instantly, I found a dusty bottle of vodka hiding behind stacks of Instant Ramen. I picked it out from behind the noodles, while grabbing a Ramen to eat. It was the bottle from the bar we got stuck in. She never drank it. The bottle was still brand new, once you dusted off the year and a half old layer of grime that had accumulated on it from storage.

Why did she save it? Having a little knowledge of Faye's drinking habits, that thing shouldn't even exist anymore. She could have easily downed that thing by herself in a night. But it remains intact. Really strange.

"What? Are you going to party without me?" she said from behind me, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"This is an old bottle of booze you've got here." I said holding the bottle up.

"You remember that?" she asked, yawning.

I nodded and put it back into the cabinet. She's still wearing my shirt. It drapes over her like a faded yellow parachute, but damn, it looks sexy on her.

"You hungry?" she said with a small smile, noticing that I was checking her out.

"Yeah, but I found this Ramen here. Problem solved." I said and pulled the string on the bottom of the cup, rendering the cup of Ramen into hot carbohydrate-goodness.

"Ok. I'm going outside to smoke." She said and headed back toward her room.

I nodded at her and started to gobble down the noodles. After tossing the container in the garbage, I walked quietly to the patio, because Ed's still asleep. Ein was up though, and was following me around now.

Faye sat in her white wrought-iron chair and stared off at the buildings that rose up around her little patio while slowly enjoying a cigarette. When I sat down next to her, her attention came back to the table, and to me.

"So what the hell wouldn't you tell me last night?" she asked with determination in her voice and blew smoke toward me.

I knew she wasn't going to give up on the subject so easily. I still don't want to be the one telling her...But I guess it better that I tell her before anyone else. I guess it's now or never.

"I got ahold of one of the not-so-evil doctors that monitored you while you were in cold sleep." I began to say when I stopped. Her face went ten shades paler in a second, and her jaw dropped a little. "I don't know if what he told me is true yet. I'm going to ask Ed to help me out to get some more info later on."

"What does that have to do with me blacking out, Spike?" she asked in a hushed and scared voice, her eyes growing wider with every word.

"I don't know yet. I don't want to get you worked up over it yet because I just don't have all the information, Faye. Please just listen to me. You have to stay as calm as possible or you could be harming yourself." I said and reached for the pack of cigarettes sitting on the table. Her hand reached out and grabbed mine.

"What's wrong with me, Spike?" she asked, pleading with me.

"It's all your good looks. They're finally going to your head." I joked and pulled my lighter out of my pocket. The fear in her eyes dimmed down a little, making me feel a little better. Faye blinked and looked off at a skyscraper that was nearby, taking a long drag on her cigarette with a blank expression on her face.

It was silent for a few minutes as we finished smoking, watching the lifeless buildings. With a quiet and wavering tone, Faye spoke, looking the other way, "I know you're just trying to lighten things up and I thank you for that." She paused.

Note to self: She just thanked me. That was a first.

"And I'm really glad that you're back. Alive. I didn't mean to yell at you at first. It was just habit. Sorry." She continued.

Note to self: She just apologized to me. Another first.

"Faye..." I said softly to her. She turned to me now, and now I saw why she was hiding her face from me in the first place. Her eyes were welling up with tears. Something I'm sure she doesn't want me to see her do. Not after what happened the first and last time she cried in front of me.

Picking up that she was terrified about what was going on with her, I got up from my chair and walked over to her side to try and comfort her. I kneeled down and looked up at her face, now looking down into mine. "Nothing to cry about, ok?" I said with a reassuring smile that I hoped she'd see and receive.

I only want to see her happy.

That is what I owe her. If I can't make her happy after all the shit she's gone through because of me and is about to go through because of her past, then I will move to Callisto and become a drag queen among the likes of Julius. I know he can teach me the way to pick up some guys. I bet I'd be a sexy looking woman, too. Like a super model...a boy can dream, can't he?

HA! Oh man, that was a good one. Seriously though, if I can't simply make the woman happy, then I don't know what I'll do. Seems like the least I can do.

"And what if everything **doesn't** turn out fine?" she sniffled.

"Well, then what's the worst thing that could happen? You screw up and we all die." I said.

Her eyes widened and she recognized what I was refering to. I don't think it was appreciated it because I was quickly smacked in the arm. She laughed quietly and wiped her eyes with the oversized sleeve of my shirt. It's at least three or four sizes too big on her. She looked into my eyes, searching for something. Smiling, she wraped her arms around my neck and buried her head in the crook of my neck.

Before I fall over from strain of sitting like this, I return the hug and fold my arms around her. She slowly released herself from her grip on me and sat normally in her chair. I stood up slowly and made my way to the other chair.

"I just realized that you basically know just about everything I've done in the last year and a half, yet I know nothing of what you've been up to." She said with a suggesting look in her eyes as I was sitting back down. That came from out of nowhere.

"And what made you realize that?" I said cooly, trying to brush off the unexpectedness of the question.

"Just keeping the conversation going." She said, grabbing another cigarette.

No sense in withholding now. Plus, it _really_ wasn't that exciting. "I spent the first four months in a hospital where I couldn't be found, the two months after that recuperating from laying around all that time, and the year following drifting from place to place, cashing in my chips with old friends."

"Why'd you wait until now to find us?" she asked somberly, lighting the cigarette. Fair question.

"Don't know. Must have been because you scared me away." I said grinning, reaching for the pack of cigarettes, only killing the grin when I noticed that she winced in reaction to my reply.

"I was just...trying to stop..." she sputtered out and took a long drag of cigarette.

"Sorry for not listening to you before." I said placing my hand on her free hand, trying to put her at ease. This new Faye is so much more fragile than the bitchy shrew I was so used to. I guess I have to watch what I bring up.

She slowly regained a stable demeanor and put out her cigarette. I don't know if I like the new Faye or the old one more. I kind of miss being able to bicker with her. It was fun to do once in a while, even though it was highly irritating after so much.

"I've got to work tonight. I can't miss another night." She said and stood up. "I'm going to catch a shower. Ed should be getting up soon. Oh, and try not to sneak in on me this time." She said with a wink.

"Sounds like an invitation to me." I said to her as she headed inside.

"Maybe another day, cowboy." She called back to me.

I sat there and puffed away on my cigarette, drifting off into a nap in the warm sunshine that surrounded me.


	12. Author's Note

I've hit a hurdle. The next update won't be as soon as the last few have been. I need to regroup my thoughts and take my time writing the next part.

It doesn't help that I've hit a hurdle in writing this, and in my life as well. I'm learning that writing isn't good when you're depressed. I'm having problems even writing this.

Thank you for reading so far, and reviewing. I'm thinking that the best thing for me to do now is to go over the story thus far, and revising things that could've been written better. So, your reviews will be really helpful right now. I love seeing that I've got email from this site.

Sorry for this pointless update & I hope you'll stick around for the rest whenever I get the energy to get it up. Hell, it might be as soon as next week. I'm just that weird when I'm mopey :P

Katherine aka: strifeheart


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